Forbidden
by tivaforever13
Summary: What happens between Tony and Ziva in Paris? One Shot.
1. Forbidden

A/N – This is a one-shot of my idea of what happened in Paris between Tony and Ziva. Behind the scenes of the screen and what we are shown.

* * *

**NCIS, Washington, DC**

"Special Agent DiNozzo and David, my office please. Gibbs, you too," Vance called from the catwalk as the sun set outside of the NCIS building.

Ziva got up from her seat and glanced at Tony. They had hardly made eye contact since their talk in the bathroom several weeks ago. They were on shaky ground and she knew it. It was like they were avoiding each other, but not really. They were only avoiding each other's eyes. Ziva knew why. Ziva didn't want Tony to read what was there, because she knew that she was only pretending she was fine and she knew that he was the only person in the world who could read it. She reached for the necklace that she used to wear almost everyday of her life, but remembered that it wasn't there. She frowned and remembered what she had said to the marine on that ship before she was in Somalia.

_**"I would sooner die than take it off," she told him. "You should understand." She had pulled out his dog**** tags."**_

She had not worn the necklace since Saleem had taken it off her neck and she had fully intended on dying over there. But, she no longer blamed Tony for rescuing her. Now, she was thankful for it. But, she did miss her necklace and had not had the heart to replace it with a new one, since she was not so sure how she felt about Israel at the moment or her father for that matter.

Tony glanced at Ziva after she was already up. She was frowning and her eyes said that she was far from fine. They had hardly made eye contact since that day in the bathroom where she apologized in the bathroom. It broke his heart that she was still hurting from this mess and he wished he could make it all go away for her, but he didn't know what to do to even help her cope, because she wouldn't let him in. He knew why they were avoiding each other though. Ziva didn't want Tony to know what she had been through and she obviously knew that he wanted her to talk about it. What she didn't know was that he was willing to wait to hear it.

Gibbs glanced at his two agents. He knew what Vance was doing to these two. It had been his suggestion to send them. Something had been off with them since they had saved Ziva from Somalia and the team was not quite the same. He realized that by sending them the team would never be the same, but it broke his heart to see his two agents, his two kids, having problems as they were. They wouldn't even look at each other and they had to depend on each other to have each other's backs. What was happening now was not good at all. They had to work through this somehow and this was his only chance to intervene.

They all made their way up the stairs and walked into Vance's office. They sat down one by one and looked at Vance, but not at each other. Vance could see what Gibbs meant about whatever was going on between Tony and Ziva being strained and forced. They were sitting next to each other, yes, but they were leaning ever-so-slightly away from each other now. He could see that they were strongly resisting whatever it was that they felt for each other because of whatever had happened to Ziva in Somalia.

"Okay, so I have an assignment and I've finally decided who is going to do it," Vance said. "The assignment is to go to Paris and pick up a witness for a trial. She is not wholly safe. We have reason to believe that her life is in danger from this thing. So, David, DiNozzo, you are going to Paris. Go home and pack your bags. Your plane leaves in two hours. You will get there, have a night, pick up your witness and come home. Understood?"

"Yes, sir," Ziva said.

"Yes, Director," Tony said.

"Good. Gibbs, no problems with me stealing two of your best agents?" Vance asked more as a formality than out of general curiosity because they had already discussed this extensively.

"No problems, Director," Gibbs said with a slight nod of his head.

* * *

**Paris, France**

"Reservation under DiNozzo," Tony said at the counter.

"Yes, that was a single room," the person at the counter said.

"Um… shouldn't it be either a double room or two rooms?" Tony asked.

"Not according to the people who booked it, nope," the manager said.

Tony and Ziva glanced at each other finally, for the first time since their eyes met in that bathroom so long ago and the second time since her face had been uncovered in Somalia. They did not think that sharing a room with one bed was a good idea. It was clear in both of their expressions.

"Is there another room available?" Tony asked.

"No, we are all booked for tonight," the manager said.

"Okay, we'll take it," Ziva said, resigned to the fact that they were going to have to share the room.

They walked up to the top floor and opened the door of the room. It was not a large room. It had one bed and a small couch. Great, it was small. It was even small by Ziva's comparison of sizes, since she was the smaller of the two.

They stood there, looking around the room. It wouldn't be so bad. But, they were definitely going to fight over who got the couch. She was going to insist on taking it and he was going to insist on being a gentleman and take it; that was the way they worked. Ziva had a solution in her head to give to him. They could share the bed. But Ziva didn't know if he would go for it. The tension between them was nearly visible at this point and they could both feel it; and, it had a hint of the old sexual tension that they used to have so prominently.

They had stepped a little ways in the room. Ziva was standing there with her bag on her arm, looking at the bed and determining that there was plenty of room for both of them. They needed to talk anyway and she knew it. They needed to do something with whatever was going on between them, because she couldn't take it anymore. She needed to have it somewhere close to the way it was again.

While Ziva was deep in thought Tony moved up behind her as quietly as he could. He was not close enough to touch her with his body, but he was still close behind her.

"I got you something, Ziva," he whispered, standing as close to her as he dared without scaring her. He was so afraid of scaring her after she had come back from Somalia.

Ziva jumped a little. She had not heard Tony come so close to her. She was surprised by the sudden closeness, but she welcomed it, it made her feel safer. She had been so jumpy since her return from Somalia so many months ago, and she hated it, but she knew that it was Tony and it was okay. Everything was getting slowly better with time, one day at a time.

She took a calming breath, reminding herself one more time that she was safe with Tony. She turned slowly to face him, wondering what he had gotten her. Her curiosity took over and she knew it was visible on her face. She allowed her walls to drop for him since they were completely alone. She felt a little too comfortable around him and it scared her.

"You startled me, Tony," she said honestly, finally meeting his eyes.

Her eyes told him that she felt safe with him there and she was thankful that he was there with her; that she would rather him than anyone else. He was relieved at the messages her eyes were sending him.

"I thought that ninjas couldn't get surprised?" Tony asked playfully, feeling that he needed to keep the mood light, even though this was definitely a serious moment.

"When we go through as much as this ninja has gone through, then, yes, Tony, sometimes we get a little surprised. I was… I was just lost in my thoughts," she said to him, fluctuating between being serious and light in the same comment, trying not to make too much of the situation; she knew it would overwhelm her if she remained serious the whole time. He knew that too, which was why he had taken to lightening the mood in that moment.

He smiled at her, seeing some of the light that used to exist in her eyes returning for the first time since her rescue, and held up a box in front of her. It was long and skinny and covered in black velvet. It was obviously for some type of jewelry. She narrowed her eyes at him as she saw the box, but her eyes remained fixed on him, as she had not allowed herself to do in a very long time. She could get totally lost in his eyes and be perfectly happy for the rest of her life.

"You did say you got me something… um, jewelry, Tony?" she asked, unsure of how to react to this gesture.

Tony studied Ziva for a few minutes and noticed that she glanced down at the box in his hands. She was asking him, silently, what was in the box. He reached his other hand out and slowly opened the box for her. She gasped slightly in surprise at what it held.

"I noticed that you lost your Star of David when you were there," he said to her quietly.

He was ignoring the fact that they never mentioned Somalia or what happened over there. He made sure that he didn't bring up the location, because he did not want to hurt her anymore than she already was. He knew that something really awful had happened to her there, but he wanted to do something to help make it right.

"I thought since it was very important to you, I would get you a new one," he added softly.

"This is really expensive, Tony," she said, noticing this new Star of David pendant had tiny diamonds laced into it, where her old one had just been plain silver. "You did not have to do this for me."

"I wanted to do it, Ziva," he said softly, holding her gaze and reading the gratitude that was in her eyes. "It means a lot to you."

She smiled up at him, with the genuine smile that he hadn't seen in so long, and took the box from him slowly. Before taking the necklace out of the box she leaned up on her toes and kissed him on the lips. They stood there for a moment with their lips pressed together, relishing the feel of each other's soft lips. Then, his hands went to her back gently and hers around his neck slowly, locking each other in their places, with gentle care as to not alarm the other or cause any panic from memories that wanted to be lost.

Tony opened his mouth and his tongue licked at her bottom lip, asking for entrance. She allowed it. Their tongues wrestled lightly with each other, exploring the other's mouth in the passionate kiss that they were sharing now. She was pouring her soul into him. She was trying to thank him for all he had done for her and trying to tell him what he really meant to her, because her words would have failed her now.

Tony was enjoying the taste that was so unique to Ziva. He had only ever tasted it in a hungry and hurried kiss for show during their undercover operation so long ago. This kiss was so different from that. He could feel all of her emotions pouring into him. She was sad, hurt, and lonely. But she loved him and wanted him to know it, but didn't know how to say it.

Tony poured everything he had into the kiss. He wanted her to know that he was not going anywhere, no matter what. He wanted her to know that he loved her and that he was always going to love her, no matter what. The kiss deepened.

Ziva could feel her body react to the contact between her and Tony, but she was not interested in going there. Tony could feel his body react to the closeness between them, but he was certainly not going to even think about going there with her now. She was still too hurt from her time in Somalia.

They pulled apart at the exact same moment and rested their foreheads together. Ziva looked down, away from him, not sure what to feel in this moment. She felt far too much. She knew that she loved him; that she was in love with him; that she, too, couldn't live without him. The emotions she was feeling scared her and made her feel safe at the same time. It was confusing to her.

Tony was afraid of what he felt for Ziva now that he had told her without words. She had returned the emotions, but he didn't know if she could handle it. He was afraid for her. She was not ready for that, and he knew it. Tony got the message though, that she loved him and was not ready for more than a thank you kiss that told him everything he ever wanted to know.

They had finally given into those emotions and desires that had built up over the years of working together and it felt great! They were both afraid though, because they had never given into each other or any other person quite like that. Tony knew, though, that she was not ready for more. He could see the fear in her eyes, even though she was looking away from him.

"Thank you, Tony," she whispered, giving him a last longing look.

* * *

They had fallen asleep with their back to each other, careful not to invade each other's personal space, having a new respect for one another. Tony was half awake at the time it happened. He could hear her muttering and he opened his eyes and listened hard. He knew instantly that she was having a nightmare.

He listened to her as she muttered in Hebrew. He looked over his shoulder and saw how peaceful she looked asleep. Her face suddenly contorted as though in an expression of pain and it broke his heart. She groaned as though something unpleasant were happening to her and she continued to mutter. Then, he caught the word Saleem.

"Ziva," he whispered, but she continued to mutter. He reached out and touched her arm gently. "Ziva. It's okay. I'm here. It's Tony. I'm in Paris with you. It's okay."

Her eyes shot open and looked at him. She sat bolt upright in the bed, nearly hyperventilating and sweating. Tony sat up next to her and moved a little closer to her. He put one hand on her shoulder very gently and very slowly, knowing that one wrong move would mean that he would die.

"Ziva. It's okay. You are in Paris with me. It's Tony. We are here to pick up a witness, which we will do tomorrow. It's just me, Tony. You are safe. Saleem is dead and gone. He can't hurt you anymore, Ziva. You are safe," he whispered gently to her.

Ziva leaned into his warm and comforting touch. She turned to see him and moved the rest of the way to meet him, breaking down in tears for the first time in front of him. She rested her head in the crook of his neck and sobbed there. He could feel the wetness of her tears and he held her tight to his body while she cried it out.

"It was just a nightmare," she said to him, when she was more under control. "I am okay now."

At least she did not say she was fine. He knew she wasn't fine and she knew that he knew it. He laid back with her still in his arms and she snuggled into his side, allowing herself to rest her head on his chest like a pillow.

She placed a hand over his heart, while his arms remained wrapped around her. She didn't fail to notice that they fit perfectly in each other's arms, like they were made for each other. His arms were wrapped around her and protecting her and her body was all over him. She felt safe where she was and she smiled into his chest.

"Thank you, Tony," she whispered on more time that night and fell asleep that night.

* * *

Ziva awoke and noticed that Tony was behind her with his arms wrapped around her. He was not sleeping, but she did notice that he was hard in her back. She didn't move. She enjoyed the feel of Tony around her, protecting her. She had not had a decent night of sleep since long before she went to Somalia. She did not care that her body was aching for him and she did not care that his body was probably aching for her. She had him right now and she had someone who was keeping her safe. She placed her hand on top of his and snuggled back into him a little more.

Tony was the only person in the world that she would trust in this position. He could not know how happy she was to be here with him right then. She smiled to herself as his arms pulled her closer to him. They laid their like that for a long time. She could feel Tony's face buried into the nape of her neck and she smiled as he snuggled her. She was okay with this, because it was Tony. After a while, though, her body was in pain from want of him and she needed to go take a shower and clear her head.

He let her go when she got up and their eyes met. They would not speak of this night again with anyone else. They would go back to what they were and they would joke and laugh and that was the way they were going to cope, because she was not ready for anything more than that right now. She was perfectly happy with having a friend who was there for her whenever she needed it.

They needed to go get that witness, Ziva remembered. She needed a shower too, so she finally tore her eyes away from Tony's indefinite green eyes. She walked toward the bathroom, feeling far better than she ever had before. Maybe, someday she could have happiness, with him. But, that day was not today. She vowed that before she died she would talk to Tony about what had happened last night and yesterday. But that day was not anytime soon.


	2. Four Months Later

A/N – I know I said this story was only a one-shot, but an idea popped into my head and I had to write it!

Disclaimer – I don't own NCIS or the characters.

* * *

**Ziva's Apartment, Alexandria, VA**

_Someone came into her cell, probably one of Saleem's men, she didn't know. They threw a bag over her head before she could really look at them. This was a new tactic. They had never done such a thing to Ziva before and she was a little frightened over this. She was dragged from her cell and down the hall to another cell, which felt larger than the first one she was in._

_She was thrown into a chair, which, by the feel of it, was solid wood. She had not been sitting in one of those solid wood chairs in almost three months now. Was Saleem going back to his first interrogation technique, thinking that what he had done to her in the most recent weeks was not working? It would not work. She would not talk._

_The bag was taken brutally off her head and Tony was sitting there in front of her with a determined and almost happy look on his face, staring her straight in the eyes. She did notice that his eyes were a little widened as though he had not expected to see her. He was there for her? Why? Why had he come? Was she really worth the trip halfway around the world after betraying all of them like that? What could have brought him that far?_

_Saleem walked over to Tony and pressed a knife to Tony's throat with an evil glare at Ziva and slit it right in front of her. She let out a horrible shriek of pain as she watched the life and determination wash out of Tony's eyes._

Ziva snapped awake, sitting up in her bed, noticing that she was sweating and shaking. The dreams had changed and gotten worse since her night in Paris four months ago. This was the worst of them, but they all ended in Tony dead in some form or another. This was the first time she had watched him die. She was shaking. She needed help. But, who could she call? What time was it anyway?

Ziva glanced at the clock, still shaking. It was two in the morning. Perhaps Tony would be awake still. She could not call Gibbs. He was somewhere in Mexico. That was all they knew. He had run off to Mexico once again for some reason that he would not tell any of them and they had had no contact.

Ziva picked up her cell phone and dialed it, clinging to her Star of David necklace that Tony had gotten her. He was not far away from her.

* * *

**Tony's Apartment, Arlington, VA**

He awoke to the sound of vibrating. His phone was going off. He looked at the clock. It was two in the morning. The boss was in Mexico so he was not expecting a call at any hour of the day or night. He picked up the phone, wondering if Gibbs had finally decided to contact them. He noticed that it was Ziva's number. What was she doing calling at this hour? She had not called him or made any extra contact with him since their night in Paris four months ago. He answered the phone.

"Ziva?" he asked.

_"Tony, I... I need you,"_ was all she said.

"I'll be right there, Ziva," Tony said quietly. "You at your place?"

_"Yes,"_ she said and that was all, the conversation was over.

Luckily Tony had a spare key to her apartment, from when she had first gotten it. She had told him that she wanted someone she trusted to have a key in case she was in trouble in the middle of the night or something, or needed help with something. She had never asked for his help or told him that she needed him. She had only just now gotten around to that. She was always so independent and sometimes that frustrated Tony. But, today she was reaching out for help. He wondered what triggered it and thought that only a nightmare would make her call at this house. A nightmare about Somalia and something she thought he could help with.

* * *

**Ziva's Apartment, Alexandria, VA**

I heard the lock click five minutes later. How fast had he driven to get there that soon? She didn't know and she didn't want to know. The door creaked a little as it opened and then it creaked as it closed. She heard the lock click again and keys rattle as they were dropped onto a table. Then she heard nothing for a moment and then his footsteps on her floors.

She clutched the Star of David necklace a little tighter as she heard his footsteps. Was it bad that she knew his footsteps from everyone else's in the world, even without his shoes on? Perhaps. Today, though, she thought it was a good thing. Otherwise, she would have had to find the gun that was usually under her pillow. She had removed the gun as soon as she had called Tony. She had put it in the nightstand so that she would not startle him. She had not slept with the gun in Paris, either, because she was safe in Paris. She was going to be safe again.

Tony did not knock on the bedroom door, he only pushed it open to find Ziva curled in a ball on her bed and clutching the necklace that he had given to her. He walked over to her slowly and sat down on her bed. He put a hand on her knee and looked at her.

"What's wrong, Ziva?"

"Another nightmare," she said.

"Like the one you texted me about the other day?" he asked and they both remembered it.

**_Tony, I had a nightmare that when they took the bag off my head you weren't there. Saleem was laughing and saying that you were, but you weren't there._**

That was what the text message had said and that was what the dream had been about. But, this was worse. Ziva shook her head and tears streamed down her face.

"No," she whispered.

"Talk to me, Ziva," Tony said quietly, pleading a little, but not trying to push. "If you're comfortable with it."

"He killed you, Tony," Ziva said, tears flowing a little faster. "He slit your throat in front of me. I watched you die!"

"Shh," Tony said quietly. "It's okay, Ziva. I'm here. I'm right here. And I'm alive. Saleem can't hurt me."

Tony pulled Ziva into a hug and Ziva wrapped her arms around him for a moment, but then she pulled back. There was something important to say.

"I _can't_ lose you, Tony," Ziva whispered, afraid to admit this. "I... I can't live without you, either."

Tony's eyes went wide upon hearing that. He had hoped that she wouldn't remember his words spoken under the truth serum and he could see nothing but truth in her eyes. It appeared to him that they had a lot of talking to do. They had not shared so many things with each other and now this was being said. That was a lot to take in. He stared at her for a moment and then thought he must ask.

"You remember that?" he asked.

"You were only being honest," Ziva said.

"So are you," Tony told her sternly.

Then, his expression softened. Ziva watched his expression turn from hard and judgmental to soft and caring. He opened his arms and pulled her close to his side, sliding his way onto her bed and laying back with her. Holding her in his arms protectively. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. This ninja, a year ago, would have killed him for thinking of doing that, but now she was relaxing into him like he had always hoped she would one day.

"What did you mean, Tony, when you said that if there were any questions I didn't want the answer to, to not ask them?" Ziva asked quietly, as she placed her head on his chest and her hand over his heart and began to trace light circles there.

Got her hands felt so good on him! He didn't think he could ever get used to that feeling. But, right now, he had a question to answer.

"Well, just that. But, what came to mind was how I ended up there," he said. "How I had gotten to the point where I wanted to travel halfway around the world to kill Saleem, or what I was thinking when I said I couldn't live without you when I thought you were dead."

"Would you answer them now?" Ziva asked nervously and in only a whisper.

He picked his head up and looked at her.

"Ziva, are you sure you want to hear those answers now? They could change everything. Do you want everything to change?" Tony asked.

Now it was Ziva's turn to raise her head. She thought deeply about his words. She chose her words carefully, touching a subject that she thought she should never touch with him, because it was forbidden, just like this moment was forbidden.

"Tony, Paris changed everything," she admitted, her voice a little stronger than she expected it to be. "Paris changed everything, but the aftermath of having that comfort, of having that satisfaction and that contact… that part was not a good change. I've had these nightmares since and they have only gotten worse with time. I tried to ignore them. I tried to pretend they weren't there and it was not bothering me. I tried to pretend that Paris did not matter. I tried to pretend that your words in Somalia did not matter. I tried. But, Tony, I am tired of pretending. I want to know, yes. I really want to know. How did you get to a point of traveling halfway around the world, thinking I was dead, when you say you could not live without me? What were your intentions? What were your thoughts when you saw me alive?"

Tony sighed heavily and closed his eyes for a second. Ziva's hand touched his cheek when his eyes closed, causing his eyes to snap open and find her curious chocolate ones, staring directly into his.

"Do not close your eyes, Tony," Ziva requested. "I like to see what of your thoughts I can."

He smiled a little and then answered her questions.

"I wanted revenge, Ziva," Tony said. "Do you remember what we learned about Gibbs, when Shannon and Kelly were killed?"

Ziva nodded lightly to Tony and her eyes widened a little.

"It was that kind of revenge that I wanted. But, I never had any intentions of surviving the mission," Tony said honestly as Ziva flinched. "Going in there, Gibbs had volunteered McGee to help me so that I would have to find a way out. They all knew that if I went in there alone, I would not come back out. They were protecting me in a way, but that did not stop me from thinking of a way to save McGee and not myself. I had a plan. But, that changed when I saw you."

"You were going to die, because I was dead?" Ziva asked. "Why?"

"Because I couldn't live without you, Ziva. Still can't," Tony admitted. "My thoughts, when I saw you alive. I was shocked, but happy. I had never been so happy to see your beautiful face in my entire life. I had never been so happy to know that you were right in front of me and still too far away to touch. I had to change the plan, because there was no choice anymore. I had to get you out of there alive and me, too. I had to."

Ziva lowered her head. She thought she was understanding. She had a few things to admit herself.

"When you shot Michael I was grateful, Tony," Ziva said quietly, still leaving her face in Tony's chest.

He picked her head up gently, so he could look into her eyes. He saw nothing but truth there.

"I was grateful, because I felt trapped with Rivkin. He was an assignment that my father had given me and I hated it. I hated it, because my assignment was very much like the one you had with Jeanne. However, mine was just an assignment because my father knew that I was getting too close to you," Ziva admitted. "The only thing that kept me from talking to Saleem about NCIS was you. If I had not known you I do not think I would have kept quiet that long. But, I had to… I had to protect you. I could not live in a world without you in it. I could not picture a world without you in it."

There were tears streaming down Ziva's face again. She was thinking about that dream.

"That brings us back to these nightmares," Tony said quietly. "They hurt you more than they should?" Ziva nodded, allowing the tears to flow in front of Tony. "What do they mean to you, aside from fear and sadness?"

"I think they are telling me what I already knew," Ziva said quietly. "I think they are telling me that I cannot live without you. I think they are telling me that I need you in my life. They are reminding me of the way I feel for you."

Now they were really at a forbidden topic. But the discussion could not wait for them to clarify if it was breaking rule twelve or not to even think about that topic. They stared at each other for a moment, silent and unsure of what to say.

"And, how is that, Ziva?" Tony asked quietly.

"Tony," Ziva said warningly, her eyes warning him that it was his turn to be cautious about what he was asking her. Her heart was racing.

"I need to know, Ziva," Tony said.

Ziva leaned in and pressed her lips cautiously to Tony. It was her way of answering. She did not know how to answer with words. She poured her heart into the kiss and he kissed her back. Her tongue touched his bottom lip, asking permission for more. His lips parted and their tongues met in the middle.

Ziva's hands went into Tony's hair and Tony's arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to him and holding her tight against his chest. They kissed for several minutes, until they were both out of breath, their hearts pounding out of their chests, and their bodies begging for more.

"I feel the same way," Tony whispered in her ear, sending a shiver down her spine and also letting her know that he got the message.

Ziva's face split into a smile and she leaned down and pressed another kiss to his lips. But, she was still cautious with it, knowing how they both felt toward each other and physically. What the hell were they supposed to do now? Could they really break rule twelve? Were they already breaking rule twelve? What the hell was this? They could not define those things tonight, though. They could not think clearly enough to define those answers tonight.

When they pulled apart they were both smiling and Ziva laid her head back on Tony's chest and allowed him to hold her as she drifted off into a comfortable sleep for the rest of the night.


	3. Spiraling Out of Control

A/N – So much for that one-shot theory. I have another chapter for you. This one definitely fits that T rating. I hope you all enjoy it!

Disclaimer – I don't own NCIS or the characters.

* * *

**Virginia Beach, VA**

Spiraling. They had been spiraling. Spiraling was a great word for what they did now. They were spiraling for a long time. It had started off slowly and under control. Then, it began to spin faster and faster as it wound tighter and tighter. Like some choreographed dance. Were they spiraling out of control? That was a good question that neither knew the answer to. Was it under control? Certainly not. At least not by either of them. They were spiraling alright! And, they were headed on a collision course with each other.

Dancing. Dancing was another way of putting it. The dancing had gone on a lot longer than the spiraling. They had, at first, danced around not killing each other, and that was fun, but dangerous. Then, they had danced around negative emotions, which had caused many arguments. Then they danced around positive emotions, which was fun and filled with teasing. Then they danced around fears, which was like walking on eggshells and trying not to break them. Then they were back to dancing around positive emotions, which was heart-wrenching this time around. But, they had spent the last three of their four months of summer dancing closer and closer to what they had been really avoiding for nearly five years.

The flirting had picked up tremendously both inside and outside of the workplace, along with their arguments. With the more intense emotions coming through, it included more arguments as a result of the tension that was visible between the two of them. Their casual banter was now more brutal and more playful at the same time and it drove everyone around them wild with confusion. Their need to be in each other's personal space was nearly constant (and that was what frightened them the most). The looks were intense. The small touches and light communications were significant in ways they had never been before. They were so close, yet sometimes they felt so far away in their frustration to get to the end of that spiraling dance they were performing.

How close were they to the center of that spiral? No one could really tell. It was too far past time to stop it and there was nothing either of them could do about it, other than let it happen. They both loved it and feared it at the same time. They were afraid of the inevitable, which would change them even further than they had already experienced. And it was definitely inevitable; there was no denying it. But, someone had to question it. Someone had to say something before they crashed headlong into each other without being made fully aware of where they were heading. They could not go at this blindly.

Ziva David was standing on the warm beach in Virginia with her back turned toward the wooden cottage that they had rented for their mandatory week off, since none of them had had a vacation in a very long time and Director Vance thought it was now necessary. She had spent the majority of her day lying on the beach with no one other than Anthony DiNozzo.

Ziva's heart gave a stutter as she thought about him and remembered how he looked at her and the way he looked in his bathing suit without any top on to hide his toned chest and arms. A smile fluttered across her lips and her breath caught up in her throat. Then, she quietly composed her face again, so she could continue to think.

Someone had to ask the questions, but now they were locked in a battle of dancing around the questions, rather than dancing around what they really wanted. They both knew what the other wanted. They both knew (basically) how the other felt. It was only a matter of time before it reached a breaking point. She was supposed to spend her entire summer in Florida on assignment, but that had not happened the way that Director Vance had wanted it to.

Ziva had called her doctor for medical leave for a week. She was not sleeping at all and she was exhausted and certainly not performing to the best of her abilities. She was having nightmares again. They were worse when she was further away from Tony, she noticed.

Ziva had tried to call Tony. That was nice. But, it was not the same when she was so far away from him. Having him able to come over to wherever she was, was a comfort that she needed in order to rest easy most nights. But, there were still other nights in the beginning of the summer where she had to reach out for help from him. The nightmares had diminished slowly and were no longer every night.

But, then about two months ago, she had changed her routine. She called Tony just to come over to her apartment to hold her and make her feel safe. That was the beginning of her giving into her feelings toward him, which they both knew were there. He came, even though it wasn't an emergency and that was the beginning of him giving into it as well. That was the first time they had both scolded themselves mentally and it was far from the last time that they had done it. That was the third move that had majorly changed how quickly they were spiraling.

About a month ago, Tony called her and asked her to come over to his place. She knew she was the first woman to go over to his place. She knew he didn't invite people to his place, because it was his sanctuary. She knew the significance of this. She was a part of his sanctuary now. He wanted her near him. They were giving in more and more, a little at a time. But, they were still dancing around what they were ultimately headed for. That was the fourth shift in their spiral.

Then, when they had been given a week off, they gave in further. Tony approached Ziva. Tony made the reservations. Ziva made the calls. Tony paid for the vacation. They planned it together. They worked as a team for this. They were not far from home, but it was far enough away that it was still considered to be a vacation. It was far enough that they knew they wouldn't run into anyone else from NCIS. They knew that they were really alone together. They knew that it was just them and no one else to bother them. That was the fifth shift in their spiral. This was the one that would send it out of control, and they both knew it.

The first change, and beginning of the spiral, had been Paris. The second shift had been when Ziva turned to Tony for help with her nightmares. The third jump was the night she called him just because she wanted him near her and the fourth was when he called her for those same reasons. These were both scary and refreshing for both of them. The fifth shift in the spiral was this vacation. That was not scary, but at the same time it kind of was. They didn't exactly talk about it. But, they didn't question it, either. They had not spent much time talking about any of this, only thinking on it, some. But, the time was coming where they would be forced to talk about it, if one or the other of them didn't open up about it soon. _Spiraling,_ she reminded herself. _Spiraling and dancing._

The door to the cottage creaked open behind her and she didn't bother to turn around to look. She was no longer panicked by the sound of doors or of mostly anything else these days. She was healing. She knew that Tony was behind her now, and probably staring at her backside. She smiled to herself before recomposing her face again.

Yes, things had certainly changed.

She could sense Tony's presence. Her senses were so heightened to his presence that it was as though they had been married for many years, rather than just partners for only five years. She felt like she had known him all her life and knew that he felt the same way.

Ziva closed her eyes and inhaled the scent of the evening as she heard Tony's footsteps coming down the cottage's stairs toward her. She opened her eyes again, watching the sun sinking lower against the horizon. The spiraling and dancing was nice, but what about what happened when they crashed? Had she thought about that yet? No. Not yet.

Tony wrapped his arms around her middle, enjoying the feeling of her skin under his hands and arms; the feel of her bare back against his bare front. She enjoyed the warmth of Tony wrapping around her and protecting her from every danger that the world could possibly throw at her. She smiled again and allowed her eyes to close, allowing herself to inhale his scent instead of that of the beach. Then, she opened her eyes again and took a breath in.

"What are we doing, Tony?" she asked, closing her eyes one more time. She anticipated his answer and smiled before he spoke what she knew was coming to her.

"We are standing on the beach together, enjoying the sunset," he said, speaking calmly, though she could hear the hint of sarcasm in his voice and a light laughter surrounding him.

She chuckled. At one time, she would have been annoyed by this response and his lack of understanding. But, she knew that he was mentally avoiding the topic. It was a natural response for both of them to avoid such serious topics. But now she enjoyed a moment of lightness interrupting all her serious thoughts. Standing on the beach, with Tony, enjoying the sunset.

She smiled to herself. That sounded nice. But, just like those other times they were together outside of work, this was forbidden. This was far more intimate than those other times. Yes, they had kissed rather passionately on other occasions (many other occasions), but this was very different. This time they had chosen to run away together. This was premeditated. This was thought out and well-planned. She smiled again. They had planned this and the moment was perfect.

This time they had gone to dinner together, and neither one could deny that it was very romantic. Tony had bought her flowers and she had accepted those flowers, which was very sweet. She had dressed up nice for him and he had dressed nice for her, which they both enjoyed. They had cuddled while watching movies, which was relaxing. They had held hands in the car. Played together in the ocean. Laid out on the beach. Built a sandcastle. Danced in the rain (which was unexpected, yet quite enjoyable). Cuddled through the night. And kissed intimately at every chance they could find.

Tony seemed to be thinking along the same lines as Ziva was. His arms tightened on her as they finished watching the sun sink down below the horizon, leaving nothing but an orange glow behind it. Then, he spun her around to face him, without letting go of her waist or his tight grip on her. He looked into her light chocolate eyes, seeing a light of hope that he never thought he would see with quite that intensity. This was forbidden. They both knew this was forbidden, and yet here they were.

"We've been dancing around it for years, Zi," he said quietly to her. "We're spiraling out of control now. What started it?"

"Paris," Ziva answered in one word and he nodded in agreement, thinking about everything her mind had just gone over before he came out. He smiled at the way things had gone over the last eleven months.

Sure, the beginning of that had been rocky, to say the least. But, Paris was a turning point and something that had changed the dynamic between the two for a while. Then, she called. That changed them again. Then, she called for a different reason, definitely changing the dynamic between them again. Then, he called, changing it further. Now this. This was bound to change their dynamic and already had as far as they could see. But, whatever came next was the final step and they both knew it. They both knew that this conversation was only the beginning of that inevitable change.

They continued to stare at each other. Ziva took in a breath, and she and Tony went to speak at the same moment, both having the same thing on their mind. The shared a moment of light laughter as they closed their mouths. They looked into the other's eyes for a while longer.

"It is forbidden, Tony," Ziva whispered, her voice laced with fear. She never wanted to admit that out loud. She enjoyed what they were doing far too much to admit that they shouldn't be doing it. But someone had to say it. "It is completely forbidden and if we are ever caught… well, it might be worse than a head-slap from Gibbs."

"You are an American citizen now. It is far less forbidden than it would have been before," Tony reminded her softly. "But, you're right."

Tony's head hung in despair. Forbidden was nothing that either of them wanted to hear. But, they both knew it. They had both known what was forbidden and what was allowed by their boss. Paris was forbidden: the gift, the kiss, and the cuddling. Ziva's phone call, nightmares, cuddling, and kisses were forbidden. Ziva's other phone call, for personal reasons, was very forbidden. Tony's was more forbidden, though, since their boss viewed Ziva as a daughter who was probably off-limits to him. This vacation was definitely forbidden and everything that had to do with it: the dinners, the dates, the movies, the cuddling on the couch, the hand-holding in the car, the flowers, the playing, the flirting, the kissing, the night-time cuddling, the small touches, the laying in the sand together, and the kisses (yes, they considered that twice, because it had happened often this week).

Ziva reached her hand up, touching Tony's chin softly with her fingertips and pressed her bare core into his bare stomach, lifting his chin gently so their eyes met again. Their skin touching was too much for both of them. They both nearly exploded with the heat they could feel in that simple movement. They had nearly lost it on the beach earlier that day, which was what caused Ziva to think. Here they were again, touching in the simplest of ways. It would be something simple that would send them flying over the edge and spiraling out of control. But, they needed to have this conversation first, otherwise, they both would have lost it then and there on the beach, just after sunset.

"I do not care if it is forbidden," she said, looking straight into his green eyes, some of her walls beginning to fall and some emotions starting to show all over her face. "_You_ are all that I care about. _You_ are everything to me, Anthony DiNozzo."

He smiled genuinely and pressed one hand to her cheek. She leaned into his touch to find the warmth of his hand. Her eyes nearly sliding closed, before she remembered what they were there for. So, her eyes snapped open again, focusing on his deep, thoughtful, mysterious, green eyes. "I guess _we_ need to have this conversation then," he said quietly and rubbed her cheek gently.

These small touches were just too much. It was so small, yet so intimate. The intimacy that they had and shared was too much. Her desire was turning into a need rapidly. She needed him and he needed her. That was all that they could see when they looked into each other's eyes. It was not just a physical need, though. It was definitely an emotional need as well.

"I am in love with you, Anthony DiNozzo," Ziva said very quietly, deathly afraid of saying those words, yet so relieved that they had made it past her lips.

The words weren't as hard to say as she thought they would be to say. Once she had opened her mouth with the intent of saying them, they fell easily from her lips, laced with all the right emotions. Then, her fears were squashed by his eyes as they told her what she needed to know, before his lips could ever respond.

"I am desperately in love with you, too, Ziva David," Tony whispered back to her, his voice soaked with love.

"And yet, it is still forbidden," Ziva said, sighing out loud and closing her eyes for only a moment, needing to see him and his emotions as their emotional walls came crumbling down around them.

"I don't care about my job _that_ much, Zi," Tony said sincerely, looking straight into her eyes and leaning into her a little more. "_You_ are more important than anything in this whole world. Yes, I like my job. But, there is nothing I wouldn't do or give to have _you_ forever."

"I know exactly what you mean, Tony," Ziva stated just as simply and just as filled with emotions as more of them shown through on her whole face.

They stared into the depths of each other's eyes. There was not much more to say. It was forbidden, yes (all of it). It was exciting, fun, carefree, filled with love, and serious all at the same time and it should have confused the hell out of them. Yet, they had never been so clear on anything in their lives. How had it gotten to that point? Nearly five years of dancing around it while managing to grow closer without even realizing it. They were spiraling alright and that spiral had just tightened a little more and it was totally and completely beyond their control now that the words were out there.

"Tony, I will never be the same Ziva David that you met five years ago," she told him sincerely. "I will not be the old Ziva David that you knew. The one who was simply a cold, emotionless, Mossad assassin. I am different now. I have feelings that are strong. I show feelings to a few and more everyday. I am warm. I am filled with love, dreams, hopes, wants, and desires. Sometimes those very positive things cause me to cry. But, those are the very things that fill me with happiness and joy that I did not know existed before now. I am not as open about certain things as I used to be, or shall we say I am more reserved than I was. But, I am far more open to you than I ever have been. Maybe it is maturing, maybe it is what I went through in the Sahara Desert of Africa. I do not know. I am not wild anymore. _You_ tamed me."

"I know what you mean," Tony said with a slight nod. "I am not a playboy anymore. I gave up on that a while ago. It doesn't make me happy. It never did. But, _you_ do."

"Simple," Ziva said, leaning into him a little more.

It was like their bodies were mimicking this mental spiraling dance she had going on in her head. They were getting closer to that crash collision that they both knew was coming. They were not even bracing themselves for that collision. They were longing for it. They desired that final move that made it all come crashing down.

They could feel it already beginning. The walls were falling away and all reservations were being put aside. They were almost there and they could feel it, but they were very eager for it and anticipating the moment that it was all gone and they could be set free from what they had avoided forever. They wanted to be wholly with each other and have the entire world stop while they finally gave into what they had been longing and waiting for, for years.

"I have some scars that you have seen, Tony," Ziva admitted, continuing to knock her walls down as she spoke. "Emotional and physical scars. But, you have seen all of them now. I feel oddly exposed when I am around you, yet so safe and so free."

"When you're around me the entire world makes sense, Zi. When you were gone, nothing made sense. It was like I was lost and had no reason to keep living. My will was gone. When I saw you there, everything suddenly made perfect sense again. I had a reason to live, a reason to go on and fight for another day," Tony told her, knocking his own walls down. "I don't want to feel that way again. It was a hopeless time for me. Ziva David, I want _you_ by my side."

"And that is where I want to be, Anthony DiNozzo," Ziva admitted.

He licked his lips lightly, his eyes flashing to her lips. And that was all it took. They leaned in at the same moment and their lips crashed together. This kiss was far more passionate and raw than any other kiss they had shared in the past year before it. They could feel all the feelings that the other had through this one kiss. The walls came crashing all the way down. There were emotions written all over Ziva's face. There were emotions pouring out of Tony that he had previously been afraid to feel.

Ziva pushed him backward, up the stairs and into the cottage they had rented. This, too, was very forbidden, but that no longer mattered or stopped them. Their reservations were gone. They were sure of what they were doing and what they wanted.

Tony's hands were on her bare back and hers were on his sides. Skin touching skin, heat building inside them and desire showing through full-force as they stumbled their way through the small cottage to find one queen-sized bed that had been calling to them in this way for nearly a week.

Ziva stopped pushing him and he didn't move her at all as they continued to kiss for a moment. They pulled apart from this kiss, but they could both tell that the physical part of their conversation was far from over. Tony saw that she was sure of what she wanted, but unsure of how she was going to react to getting it. He gently kissed her cheek and stroked her hair, reassuring her.

She looked deeply into his eyes and let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. "I want this, Tony," she reassured him.

His hand ghosted up her back and pulled the string of her bikini and ghosted up to her neck to pull on the next one. The small amount of fabric that covered her chest fell to the floor. Then, both his hands ghosted down her sides, leaving goose-bumps, and pulled at the strings on either side of her bikini bottoms and that piece of fabric fell to the floor as well, all while she stared into his eyes.

His eyes darted down her body, taking in everything. He didn't dare to touch anything that had previously been covered by the fabric that now lay at their feet. He spun them around so her back was facing the bed. He lifted her and pushed her gently backwards, raising her all the way onto the bed in a swift and graceful movement. He lay over her and continued to stare into her chocolate eyes for a moment, as though waiting for the final permission to move.

"Make love to me, Anthony DiNozzo," she said softly to him, a light in her eyes he had never seen there before.

"As you wish, Ziva David," he said just as softly back to her.

His hands obliged willingly. He moved his hand slowly upward to cup her breast as she pulled him into her for another deep and passionate kiss.

They had spiraled alright. They had spiraled right off the edge of a cliff they didn't know they were standing on. They crashed into one another to find pure happiness where they wanted it. The repercussions of this were going to be severe, permanent, and pleasurable. After tonight, there would be no more dancing around each other, no more bickering out of discomfort for what they were still left wanting.

The walls were gone. The barriers were broken. The reservations vanished. And, as forbidden as it was, they had never felt so free. They were one. They had always been two halves and now they came together as one.

Five years. Five years of attraction. Five years of avoidance. Five years filled with flirting. Five years of bickering. Five years of bantering. Five years of light teasing. Five years of saving each other's lives. Five years of working together. Five years of depending on each other. Five years of protecting the other. Five long years were being exposed now for what they really meant to the other.

This was blissful and heavenly. This was a forbidden journey that neither had known they started five years ago, and neither would ever forget. This was a forbidden night that neither would forget and both would enjoy. It was a forbidden eleven months since she had returned home, after having nearly turned into someone else. She was different. The old Ziva David would never have been capable of this. She liked the new Ziva David. She was capable of this kind of deep and passionate love, trust, and loyalty to Anthony DiNozzo. She had even asked him to take the lead and give her the happiness she had long desired to have and never thought possible.

This was only the beginning of a new, more graceful and intricate dance to come, and the end of an old, spiraling dance that went around in a simple circle. Because, now they were one and didn't care if it was forbidden or not.


	4. Trial and Error

**Washington, DC**

It had been many months of happiness, filled with trial and error and hiding. It had been so many months, in fact, that it was almost a year since they started this. They were happy with each other. They were so happy that it showed that they were both happy when they were at work, which was where the trial and error came in, since they were trying to hiding it from their coworkers. Happiness was what they had been searching for and what they had found. Trial was what they were constantly doing. What worked best for Tony? What worked best for Ziva? What worked best for the two of them together? What worked with their erratic work schedule? It was difficult, to say the least, which was where the errors came in. And there were many errors.

There were mornings they were both late to work. Those mornings they usually had been up late. Sometimes they were talking, sometimes they were watching a movie, sometimes they were on a date, and sometimes it was for other reasons entirely. There was one particular morning, and not the first morning, where Ziva's car broke down outside of Tony's apartment after they had already overslept, because of a late night. It was about three months into this new relationship and it was the beginning of October, on a particularly cold morning.

**_"I cannot believe we slept past the alarm, Tony!" Ziva said. "Again!"_**

**_They were rushing. They were rushing because they had gone out for a date and then come home and made passionate love late at night. They had definitely overslept. It was one of the mornings they were supposed to be at work for seven, instead of eight, like always. They were in the middle of a case, and this was not good. Both were nearly ready and gathered their keys at the same time, already having agreed to take separate cars to work on days they stayed over, because they already knew that taking one car was suspicious enough._**

**_They headed out the door and down the elevator at the same time, giving each other a kiss as they got to their cars, as though they were heading off in separate directions, like normal couples. They got in their cars and Ziva's was not starting. Tony hopped back out of his car and indicated that she should pop the hood up. Her starter was dead. That meant that jumping it was no use._**

**_"Come on, I'll give you a ride," Tony said through her open window. She sighed, got out, locked her car and got into Tony's. They were over an hour late already and were bound to hit some rush hour traffic, which was never a good thing in DC._**

**_"We're going to get into trouble again," Ziva warned him. "You should have gone without me."_**

**_"We'll think of something we always do," Tony reassured her as he started his engine and drove off at a high speed that made Ziva remember why no one liked her driving._**

**_They arrived at NCIS one hour and forty minutes late. They climbed into the elevator nervously, neither daring to look at the other, their backpacks slung over their shoulders. Ziva was fidgeting with her hands, as she always did when she was nervous. Tony was bouncing on his toes, as he did when he was nervous._**

**_The silver doors slid open with the familiar ding and every head on the MCRT turned toward them. Gibbs looked ready to kill. They should have called. That was a mistake. Staying up so late was a mistake. Ziva's car breaking down was beyond their control. That was their excuse though, and they both knew it, without having to voice it to the other. McGee was staring suspiciously, this was not the first morning that both were late to work and coming in at the same time or nearly the same time._**

**_"You two know how to read a clock?" Gibbs asked._**

**_"It is my fault, Gibbs. I am sorry," Ziva said automatically._**

**_"How's it your fault DiNozzo's late?" Gibbs asked, raising an eyebrow._**

**_"You see, my car broke down this morning. Something in it does not work. The thing would not start. I tried to figure it out myself before calling him. I thought he would already be at work. When I called, he came," Ziva explained._**

**_"Then I tried to fix her car, boss," Tony said. "I failed, obviously. It's her starter. She needs a new one."_**

**_"Sure," Gibbs said, his eyebrows pulled together. "Either of you know what a phone is used for?"_**

**_"I did not think of it," Ziva said shamefully, knowing that they should have called as soon as they knew that Ziva's car was not starting without further investigation. "We should have called."_**

**_"Yup," Gibbs said. "McGee'll fill you in on what you missed."_**

**_Gibbs left the room, looking positively furious at the two of them, as well as suspicion. Another mistake; they both knew it. They weren't found out yet. They had good excuses and usually their excuses didn't involve each other. They really had to stop showing up late, though, because they would definitely get caught soon at this rate and neither one of them wanted to be transferred or fired._**

There was a late night phone call that they weren't paying attention to and Ziva answered Tony's phone as they got ready to call it a night. It was on a weekend. They had just gotten in from dinner and were not supposed to be on call. Ziva automatically picked up the phone and answered it.

**_"David," she said into the cell phone that felt familiar in her hand, not yet realizing that it wasn't hers._**

**_"Um… uh… we have a murder. Ziva?" McGee's voice asked._**

**_"What?" she snapped at him, frustrated that they were getting called in on their rare weekend off._**

**_"Why are you answering Tony's phone?"_**

**_Oops, she thought. That was definitely a mistake that was not worth having happen again. She sighed._**

**_"We were at a bar picking up women together, McGee," she joked sarcastically. "I accidently grabbed his because we both left them on the bar."_**

**_She heard McGee's sigh. He had caught the sarcasm and wasn't entertained by her joke in the least. Ziva knew that he was suspicious of something between the two of them. After all, Tony had turned down two women in the last week and there were many others that McGee didn't know about. It was Ziva's turn to sigh._**

**_"Text the address," Ziva said quietly._**

**_"Will do," McGee said. "But, Ziva?"_**

**_"What McGee?"_**

**_"What were you two really doing together?" he asked, hoping to get something other than a joke._**

**_"Killing children," Ziva said darkly, knowing that no matter what she said that wasn't one hundred percent serious the other field agent wouldn't buy it. She hung up the phone before he could make another remark or ask again in hopes of finding an answer. She only hoped he would take the hint that they weren't going to talk about it._**

There was an early morning phone call that was similar. Tony answered Ziva's phone. It was four in the morning and they nearly missed the call. As a matter of fact, Ziva did miss the call. It was less than a week after their late-night phone call and it was, again, McGee calling.

**_"DiNozzo," Tony said groggily, feeling Ziva stir on his chest and holding her tightly, hoping that whatever it was wouldn't make him need to wake Ziva up._**

**_"Hi, Tony. You're not Ziva," McGee said on the other end._**

**_Shit! That wasn't good! How could he have been so stupid? Why hadn't they taken the time to go get different phone cases yet? They should've made that a priority._**

**_"Well, we have a lead and boss wants you in here in less than a half hour," McGee said, not bothering to wait for an answer from the senior field agent. He knew that Tony and Ziva had been acting oddly around one another for a while and he wondered what was going on or what had happened between them. But, he didn't ask. He didn't want to know, because he didn't want to have to hide something from Gibbs and get them caught._**

**_"I'm going to assume that since you answered her phone she was either with you, or still is. Wake her up, or call your own phone to get a hold of her. You two might want to considering answering your own phones from now on. If this was Gibbs he would have a field day!"_**

**_"A field day with what, McGee?" Tony heard Gibbs ask in the background of the silent room that McGee was in._**

**_"The case," McGee said quickly. "Get here," McGee added to Tony._**

There was one day where they had a particularly difficult case, while Eli David was in town. That was rough on both Tony and Ziva. Tony had hugged Ziva, unsure of whether Eli was okay or not and wondering if Ziva was going to kill Liat or not. That's when they almost said something, in front of Gibbs.

**_They pulled out of the embrace at the same moment and got lost in each other's eyes as they often did. This was true both before and during the relationship and something that was dangerous now that they were more open with each other and together and aware of what each other was feeling. Tony opened his mouth._**

**_"We'll figure this out, Ziva," Tony promised her, knowing that they had to. "Just don't kill Liat while we work with them."_**

**_"I know, Tony," Ziva said with a sigh, still lost in his eyes. "I tr… I know."_**

**_He looked at her curious and nodded his head. Of course Ziva trusted him. It was obvious._**

**_"We'll find whose done this," Ziva said quietly._**

**_"Yes, we will, my l… ninja, we will, ninja," Tony said covering his tracks and shaking his head at his near slip. Ziva chuckled and so did Tony. They heard a heavy sigh from their boss._**

There was that day where they sat in the office all day and did desk work. They had gotten so lost on focusing on one another that they didn't realize that there were five sets of eyes staring at them and trying to get their attention.

**_They had been staring for about ten minutes, though it felt like no time had passed at all. Tony was aware that Gibbs was watching them and Ziva was aware that Vance was watching them. They didn't indicate this to the other. What they were unaware of was that Abby, McGee, and Ducky were also watching them. Their names had been called at least three times each by varying people among those five._**

**_"DiNozzo! David!" Gibbs shouted for the final time at his loudest volume, stepping in between both of them._**

**_Both agents jumped and stared at Gibbs, coming back to reality. Gibbs looked at each of his agents, sighed and walked back to his desk._**

**_"I was going to tell you all that you could go home for the day, but I'm sure that you two aren't actually done with what I asked of you. Something you'd like to share with the class?"_**

**_"What?" Ziva asked. "We are not in a class. Are we?"_**

**_"It's an expression, Ziva," Tony said quietly. "Sorry boss, I was just thinking."_**

**_"About Ziva? About work? About the clock on the wall over there? About the orange wallpaper on the opposite wall? About the other agents in the building? About the hot blonde that sits behind us? What were you thinking about?"_**

**_"A movie, actually," Tony said quickly, trying hard to cover his tracks, and realizing that he had definitely said the wrong thing. "I was thinking about Star Wars and when Yoda dies and it's just really sad, but very promising all at the same time."_**

**_Gibbs sighed and shook his head. "Go home. All of you."_**

They had made other small errors, too. But, that was beyond the point. It was the major errors, where they had had a difficult time coming up with an excuse for what was going on that had nearly gotten them caught on several occasions. But, they were doing better lately.

Hiding their relationship was not an easy task. They were already tired of hiding it from the people that was so much like a family to them. However, they had started off with an advantage. They had been pretending for so long that, in the beginning, hiding it was the easiest part for them. However, hiding it had become increasingly more difficult as time passed. They grew closer, more in love, and more dependant on the other as time passed, that they didn't even see the difficulties starting until it was past several mistakes. They knew that someone had to be suspicious, but no one had said anything to either of them yet.

Gibbs was all seeing and all knowing, and somehow he hadn't yet worked it out that they were together and had been for almost a year. McGee was a trained investigator and the caller of two separate times when they had answered the wrong phone, not a mistake they made a third time, but still, he had no idea. Abby who tried to stick her nose in wherever it didn't belong hadn't figured it out, either. And then there was Ducky.

No one knew what Ducky was seeing about these two. Whenever there was a body he saw them together. He saw how differently they acted around each other. It was as though they had careful footing now, whereas before they were totally uncensored in front of their colleagues. They always stood too close, but they were, somehow, closer now when they stood. They usually flirted, but sometimes, now, they got carried away. Ducky was good at psychology and no one knew what he was seeing, because he was keeping it to himself.

And, although they were quite happy and had overcome many of the mistakes and not made them more than a few times each, they encountered new things and a new theory. Perhaps, hiding the relationship was a mistake as well. Ziva had miscarried once and claimed that it had nothing to do with work. Tony hadn't believed her at first, until he was sitting in the doctor's office at an examination with her.

**_"Okay, I've done an ultrasound to make sure that your body's voided all of it," the midwife said gingerly, knowing that this was a very difficult thing for a happy couple such as the one she had sitting in her office now. "Everything looks pretty healthy. But, Ziva?"_**

**_Ziva looked up at the midwife, tears in her eyes at the situation, hoping that it was nothing to do with work._**

**_"I know you were concerned about your work being an issue," she said. "It's not. The fetus is very protected in their. Nothing in your line of work, short of getting shot directly in the uterus, can harm the pregnancy this early on. It's the scaring on the lining of your uterus. I would like to go in and remove some of the scar tissue as soon as possible, if that's okay with you? It's an easy procedure and you should be back to normal within a couple of days. That should help for the future when you two decide to try again. However, don't think that this is foolproof. It is not a cure-all. It will only make it less likely that you will suffer through this one more time."_**

**_"Do the procedure," Ziva insisted. "I do not want to take any chances of going through this again."_**

**_"Didn't you want to talk to your husband about it first?" the midwife asked._**

**_"Oh, we're not married," Tony said. "This was unplannewith d in the first place, but we were happy about it. I want you to do the procedure too, even if it is only a minor improvement for the future. I would like to avoid anything happening when we do decide we're ready."_**

**_"Great!" the midwife said._**

And with all those mistakes it was getting more and more difficult to hide what they had going. They were beginning to not care about the job that they needed to keep. They knew that they could both make it work on one income. They also both knew that Ziva had not seen her apartment in more than two months straight. Most of her clothes were already at Tony's and they were planning on moving in together.

But, this latest event had them both wondering if they should share. This was not an error of theirs this time. Mike Franks was just murdered and Ziva was emotional, and so was Tony. Mike was a part of their extending, and admittedly strange, family. They knew that they would have to talk about what they were doing very soon and Gibbs would either like the idea or fire them and neither of them cared.

"We should tell them," Ziva said quietly as she pulled back just a little from Tony's hug in the elevator.

"I agree," he said quietly. "Life can be cut off at any time. I don't want to hide anymore. I want them to know that we are happy and that we've found someone. It's only fair. They're family."

Ziva put her head back on Tony's chest and allowed her emotions to go until the elevator opened and Ziva didn't move her head from his chest, knowing that it was the only comfort she was ever going to have over this. When she felt Abby and McGee join the hug she was glad. Her whole family was coping with this together and soon their family would know what was going on between them too. She looked at Tony.

"I know. We wait," he whispered in her ear. "When this is over."

She nodded, silently glad that she understood his words perfectly, considering he had known what to say based on the expression on her face. That was all the discussion that they would ever need. They both silently felt relieved that they were going to tell their family what they had been doing for nearly a year, but they also knew that it would make things more difficult for a while before they could find true happiness.

Everyone would need to adjust. Abby didn't want a change in her family, but they knew that she would be happy for them. McGee would be confused, even though he suspected it. Ducky would see it coming and they both knew it. Gibbs, also would see it coming. He wouldn't be happy about it, but he would see it coming. They were afraid of how Vance would react, but neither really cared. It was Gibbs' opinion that mattered most.

Though they had tried many things and occasionally failed, they were doing well. Though they were going through a lot of trouble to hide the relationship, they were doing well. Though they had suffered a silent loss together, they were doing well. Though they suffered the loss of a family member, they were doing well. It was nice to be doing well, and it was the best that they could ask for. They were genuinely happy with their relationship and where it was taking them. It was time for them to share that with everyone else, as soon as this case was over, since Franks was one of most recent victims of the Port-to-Port Killer.


	5. Surprising Conversations

**Cape Hatteras, NC**

Tony, Ziva, and Gibbs were standing in a small cottage that Director Vance had rented for them while they worked on the case. It was unusual to need to travel this far for a case, considering there were NCIS teams all over the place. But this one, was specifically related to an old cold case that they had not solved over twenty years ago. It was strange to see something pop up after so long, but here they were. They needed to get ready for the evening.

Ziva thought about this silently. There were two bedrooms, one bathroom, one kitchen, and one small living area. They had to talk to Gibbs now, before he decided the order of the bedrooms, which he seemed to be struggling with, since they already knew that there was only one queen-sized bed in each room. The couch was not big enough for any of them to sleep on, and that created a problem in Gibbs' mind.

Gibbs was staring at the small couch. He glanced at his two field agents, wondering why he had chosen these two, other than the fact that they worked extraordinarily well together. Why had he chosen a boy and a girl to come along with him? Why had he chosen specifically Tony and Ziva, knowing what this cabin was like? Why hadn't he thought ahead on the rooming arrangements? And why hadn't they talked to him yet about whatever they were going through?

Gibbs thought about them a lot lately. There was something definitely going on with them. Were they in a relationship? Did they just have a one night stand once? Were they just closer as friends? Whatever it was he needed to find out, because it was really starting to bother him. Something had changed after Paris. Something had changed over the summer. Something had changed with how often they hung out. Something had changed only a couple of weeks ago, right before Franks was killed.

He had thought about that time a lot. Both Tony and Ziva had arrived late to work, again, both saying that they had a doctor's appointment to go to that morning. That was strange enough. They arrived at the same time and in the same car, which was even more strange. They were both devastated. He had actually seen tears in both of his agents' eyes multiple times during the course of that day. They had gone through something painful together and remained totally silent about it throughout the last two weeks.

He had, however, seen them grow more comfortable with whatever that loss was. He had seen them grow closer together because of it. He had also seen them slip up on multiple occasions and he was nearly certain of what the answer was, though he was open to whatever was coming. His idea was that they had been seeing each other and DiNozzo messed up somehow, hurting Ziva and inevitably himself. He wondered if that was the case. He wanted them to speak up first, rather than having to bring it up. He wondered if they would do it now that they were sharing a small space together.

Tony glanced at Ziva at the same time that she glanced at him. Both agents looked nervous. They glanced at Gibbs at the same time and back to each other. Ziva nodded and Tony moved a little closer to her, knowing that it was time to share with their Supervisory Agent that they both viewed as a father. Tony's arm went instinctively around Ziva's waist as he turned to face their boss, who was staring at the couch as though wishing it to grow an extra cushion right before his eyes.

"Boss?" Tony said quietly.

Gibbs turned. He saw how they were standing, surely. But, it wasn't just that Tony's arm was around Ziva that caught him off-guard. It was that Ziva's head was leaning against Tony, as though looking for some form of comfort. Both of them looked tired. They all had a long drive and a long day. It was late and they were probably tired. He was standing there and not handing out rooming assignments, but he knew that whatever was going to be said now was going to change his dilemma significantly. He could see that his theory might be completely wrong. Perhaps whatever had happened between them was already worked out and they were happy together. Perhaps they were never together at all, but wanted to be and were going to check with him to see that it was okay. He didn't know.

"DiNozzo?" he asked, trying hard to keep a calm and even tone, though he was nervous to hear whatever the two agents had to say now.

"Gibbs, Tony and I have something we want to tell you," Ziva said nervously, her arm tightening around Tony's waist and his tightening around hers.

Gibbs noticed this and sighed. He indicated the couch and they both sat down. He took the chair next to it and sat down. He looked at them and noticed that they were managing to squeeze onto one cushion of the couch, needing to be near each other for a while.

"Go ahead," he said quietly.

"Boss, Ziva and I are together," Tony said nervously.

"We have been for about a year," Ziva added.

"Since last summer, at the end of June," Tony said quietly

Gibbs was silent for a moment. His eyes closed. He should have expected this. He should have expected them to get together and not tell him. After all, it was his rules that had prevented them from doing this sooner and his rules that made them hide it from him. Obviously it was working for them, so he really couldn't be angry about it. But, he had a question. Well, really, he had many questions.

"The late mornings to work?" he asked.

"Because we stayed up late," Ziva admitted, going pink and glancing at Tony.

"The times you answered the other's cell phone when McGee was calling?"

"We were together," Tony said quietly.

"The car breaking down?"

"Was exactly as we said it was, though I did not have to call Tony," Ziva said. "We would have been late anyway, but the car did make us more late."

"Okay, I have one more question. This one is one I can't assume the answer on, because I just don't know," Gibbs said shaking his head and realizing that if they were this close and still together it was not that either of them had screwed up. He needed to know why they were both upset a couple weeks ago and why they both had a doctor's appointment to go to on the same morning at the same time. "There was a day, a couple weeks ago. You both went to the doctor, same morning, same time. You both came in late. You arrived at the same time in the same car. You were both upset. What was that about?"

Tony and Ziva looked at each other and sighed heavily. Ziva placed her head on Tony's chest and then looked at Gibbs, while Tony held her tightly.

"I... it was… we…," Ziva said quietly.

"Did you two have a fight or something? A breakfast date? What happened?" Gibbs asked.

"Boss. Ziva had miscarried the morning before that," Tony said very quietly, squeezing her tighter as tears came into both of their eyes.

"Oh," Gibbs said in nothing more than a whisper unsure of what else to say to them at that moment.

"It was nothing involving NCIS that caused it," Ziva said quietly, not looking at Gibbs. "I had some scarring on the lining of my uterus from my time in Somalia. They have cleaned it up, but Tony and I are trying to wait to have children. It was unplanned and we were unprepared for it."

Gibbs smiled gently to himself. Yea, his kids were really thinking this through. Sure, they had an unplanned pregnancy, which he wasn't going to ask the details on, but they wanted this and they wanted to make it last.

"You two went through that silently?" he asked. "You know you can always talk to me about something if it's bothering you."

They both nodded and sighed in relief. "Thanks, boss," Tony said.

"I do have a little more to say," Gibbs said quietly. "I see that this is working out well for both of you. I see that you are thinking things through. I see that you are thinking of the future, which does require commitment, and I see that you're happy with each other. I want you to know you can always turn to me. I also want you to know that I put rule twelve in place for me, not for you. My rules are something for me to live by. It's time you made your own set of rules to live by. Mine are just a guideline for my team, my family. Besides, there are more than fifty rules and you can't listen to just one. You two obviously have a good thing going and rule five is more important than rule twelve, which is why its higher on the list. Never waste good.

"I'm sorry for the loss you've both suffered and I'm glad you two are being honest with me. If there's anything I can do to make this time easier for you, let me know. You should have talked to me about it," Gibbs continued, talking more than he had ever in their memory. "Now, I need you to know, I approve. I approve of this and am glad to see that it's stayed mostly out of work. Keep it that way. I know that there will be times where that's not possible. Especially in the future, when you decide to have children, or when you are going to get married, or whatever. But, you also need to be upfront with Vance, as well. There's paperwork that needs to be filled out for two agents who start a relationship within NCIS. It's not encouraged, but there's no rule against it. I still want both of you on my team."

They were both staring at Gibbs with shock. They definitely hadn't seen that coming. They hadn't seen instant approval with only a few questions. They hadn't seen such leniency and they hadn't even seen Gibbs feeling hurt over their personal loss of something great a couple weeks ago. They looked at each other, both taken aback by Gibbs' reaction.

"That also solves my other dilemma. You two will share a room. I do expect you not to oversleep though. I don't want to have to go in there to wake you up," Gibbs said chuckling to himself. "And please, share with the others when we get back. They'll be pleased, I think. McGee's been concerned Tony, because you haven't gone on a date in over two years. Abby thinks there's something wrong with both of you and is panicking. And I don't know what Ducky thinks, he's been oddly silent about you two since before this started. Now, get off to bed."

Ziva rose, but Tony didn't follow. She looked at him curiously. "Go ahead. I want another quick word with Gibbs," he said quietly to her. "I'll be up in just a minute."

Ziva nodded, planting a kiss on Tony's cheek before going up the stairs and not daring to listen to what was going to be said, in case it was some worry or something that Tony wasn't sharing.

"DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked, as he turned away from the television where he put a western on.

"Boss, I have a question…," Tony stated shakily. "You've been more of a father to Ziva over the last seven years than her father has ever been to her and I... I wanted to ask your permission to ask her to marry me."

Gibbs smiled. "I'll grant it. But, you should talk to Eli David as well," Gibbs said. "He is still her father."

"I know, Gibbs," Tony said. "I'm a little afraid of that."

"I'm sure Eli already knows what's going on between the two of you. You don't honestly think that he's stayed completely away from her, do you?"

Tony shook his head and fidgeted a little. "Boss. Can I be honest about something?"

"You can always be honest, DiNozzo," Gibbs said, chuckling at the odd question.

"I'm a little terrified of Eli," he said quietly. "I don't know what to say to the man. I don't know how to act around him. I don't know how to word what I want to say. I don't really care if he gives permission or not. I just… well, I would rather just tell him what I want to do and leave him no choice, because he'll say no. I mean, honestly, boss. I annoy the hell out of Eli. He doesn't like me and he'll think I'm no good for Ziva. He never liked me. And when he thought that Ziva and I were having a secret relationship the summer that you were in Mexico he threatened to take me out, because he didn't think I was good enough for Ziva."

Gibbs laughed. "Then tell him that's what you're doing," Gibbs said. "Besides, I'll stand in while you give him a call in MTAC."

Tony smiled. "Thanks, boss," Tony said quietly.

* * *

**Washington, DC**

Tony stood fidgeting next to Gibbs as the big screen revealed an impatient-looking Eli David on the screen. He looked confused and agitated at the interruption in whatever he was doing.

"Whatever this call is about, it better be good, Agent Gibbs," Eli said, ignoring the fact that Tony was standing right there looking extremely nervous, though he could see it and comprehend perfectly what he was feeling.

"I'm not the one making the call, Eli," Gibbs said. "But I do think it's an important phone call. Not case-related though, if that's what you mean."

"Then, why call in MTAC? Why go to the trouble. You could have just left a message with my secretary, you know," Eli said, sounding angry now.

"Oh no," Gibbs said shaking his head and chuckling. "This is not a message you would want to get from a secretary. Trust me on that. And I'm not the one making the call, here. Special Agent DiNozzo has something he would like to share with you."

"Is that so?" Eli asked with an entertained smile on his face. "Something he would like to share that should not be left with a secretary? This should be entertaining."

"Depends on how you look at it, I suppose," Gibbs said with a smile and pushed DiNozzo forward a little, so that he was the center of the image.

"Hi," Tony said nervously. "I wanted to tell you myself. Ziva and I have been dating for over a year. I love her with everything I have and she loves me. We're happy together. We've been through hell together and we've survived everything. I've gone to the ends of the Earth to save her and would do it all over again. I plan on asking her to marry me."

"No!" Eli said instantly. "Absolutely not! You are nothing but a cheating chatterbox, Special Agent DiNozzo. I will not allow you to do this. This is not your area. Go find some hot blonde to date. I refuse to allow Ziva to marry a non-Jewish man and especially one such as yourself!"

"You see, Eli, I wasn't asking your permission, exactly," Tony said. "I was more telling you what was going to happen. Ziva is an independent woman. If she says no, then that's how it will be. But, I won't let you decide her future for her. That decision is up to her, not you. And, I'm not who you seem to think I am. Sure, I went through a time in my life, which was rather juvenile and not exactly respectable, but I'm not that person anymore. I love Ziva and would never do anything to hurt her. I want her to be happy and that's not too much to ask, but I'm not asking you. I'm telling you. I'm going to ask her to marry me and leave the decision up to her."

"You are not good for Ziva!" Eli nearly shouted, going red in the face. "You are not good for any respectable woman!"

"Now, Eli," Gibbs said, stepping up. "I might be the man's boss, but I'm not blind either. Tony and Ziva are perfect for each other, and I distinctly heard that he wasn't asking for your permission. Honestly, I'm the one who suggested this call, since he thought it would be right to tell you what was going to happen. Now, you will accept that gracefully and be happy for your daughter, or I'll personally make sure you don't get an invitation to the wedding."

Eli frowned. He was cornered. He had no choice. He looked at DiNozzo and could definitely see that he cared about Ziva.

"Could I have a word with Ziva?"

"She doesn't know what DiNozzo's planning on doing," Gibbs warned.

"And I will not ruin the surprise for you, but I would like to talk to her," Eli said.

"I'll get her, boss," Tony offered and left MTAC, returning only a few minutes later with Ziva attached to his hand.

"Ah, my Ziva," Eli said looking at the other two agents.

"Abba?" Ziva asked.

"I just learned that you are sharing a relationship with one Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo," Eli said suavely. "You know that I do not like the man, right?"

"Abba, it is none of your business," Ziva said, going a little pink. "And, yes, he and I are in a personal relationship outside of work, unlike the time you suspected us. I am an American citizen now and he makes me happier than I have ever been in my whole life. If you are planning on telling me that we should not be together, do not bother. I do not care what you think. I am happy and will not sacrifice my happiness for you anymore than I already have. The last time I chose to do that I ended up in a terrorist training camp in Somalia on the Horn of Africa. That will _not_ happen again. Is that clear?"

Eli was taken aback by his daughter's tone. He observed the two. They were standing very close. Their hands were linked but they were leaning just slightly toward one another. They obviously had the same ideas.

"I need to ask you, Ziva. What do you see in the future with this man?"

"Happiness," Ziva said, looking sideways at Tony and getting lost in his eyes. "I see complete happiness. I want to spend the rest of my life with him and someday have his children."

Eli sighed. He knew that he couldn't deny her this happiness, as much as he wanted to, but he realized that Ziva was not done speaking.

"My decisions are mine alone, Abba," she continued. "They are not your decisions. They are not Gibbs' decisions and he was graceful enough to allow us to continue working together as we always have when we told him about what was going on. And, any man that you do not like is probably a good man for me, since the ones that you have liked so far have ended up being untrustworthy and traitorous men who try to control and abuse me. I trust Tony. I trust him with everything! I love Tony and would not want to live without him as an essential part of my life!"

"Fine, that was all," Eli said and hung up on his end.

Now Ziva turned toward Tony and glanced at Gibbs. "You two want to tell me why you were having a chat with my father? Is he having me followed still, or should I say again? What was that all about?"

"Ziva, trust," Gibbs said quietly and left the room.

"Tony? What did he mean, trust?"

"I'm assuming that he wanted to tell you to trust me," Tony said quizzically. "But, we've got to get back to work. When we finish, we have a small date we're going on. I'm going to take you back to Virginia Beach for the weekend. It's already approved by Gibbs and Vance. We won't get called in this weekend, I've been told."

"That's what they always say," Ziva said chuckling. "Better hope not when the drive is a little further."

They kissed and left MTAC together, with Ziva still silently wondering why they had been talking to Eli in the first place since it had nothing to do with the case. She, for some reason, had some butterflies in her stomach about it, and couldn't explain why. She let him lead her out of MTAC anyway and returned to her desk to finish up her paperwork for the evening so she could go back to Tony's apartment (well, their apartment, really, since she had officially moved in there) and pack for the weekend that she was now looking forward to.


	6. Happy Beginning

A/N – Hi everyone! What a premier of NCIS tonight! A little crazy. A little sad that we didn't actually get to see Ziva in this one, but I will live until next week, I hope. So, with all the emotions of Ziva leaving the show (and sad that the premier is finally here), I decided for something a little lighter and a little happier! I really hope you enjoy this chapter. I put a lot of thought into this one and it took me on a roller coaster ride! Enjoy.

* * *

**White Sands Beach, Hawaii**

She had been so confused when that call in MTAC took place. She thought about it repeatedly since it had happened. It had happened right after their mission in North Carolina, where they finally told Gibbs that they were together and he had waived rule twelve for them, which they were extremely happy about; it had happened as soon as they got back to NCIS after gathering their evidence from the crime scene and talking to all the possible suspects to get some clue as to who they were looking for.

Honestly, everything had been perfect in North Carolina. They were happy and Gibbs was happy for them. It was great! But, she needed to remind herself that there was something rather small about that night that she didn't know. She liked to forget that. Tony had asked for a moment alone with Gibbs. She remembered it clearly, but always forgot about it in the confusion she had in her mind about the call in MTAC after their weekend-long mission.

When Tony had asked, she was good. She ignored both her training and her instincts of needing to know everything and gone all the way upstairs, into the bedroom, and closed the door, so she wouldn't hear whatever they were talking about. She had extended a great deal of trust to Tony that night and it was all the trust that he deserved. But, that moment had driven her crazy, even though she had chosen to act as she had. She was curious about what had been talked about and why Tony had wanted to talk to Gibbs alone.

She hadn't asked Tony what it was about. She respected his wishes of keeping that conversation private. But, she certainly thought about it a lot. She wondered all the time what they talked about. She knew that whatever was said was between Tony and Gibbs, strictly. But, she was horribly confused.

What had her confused was that her and Tony had shared everything with each other throughout the year of their relationship up until that very moment. Yes they had known each other better than any two agents should know each other before they stared dating. But, after a year together they knew everything they could talk about with each other. They had been so incredibly open, sometimes to the point of hurting the other, but they ended up okay in the end, because of their openness and caring toward one another.

But, this was very different. Tony had wanted to talk to Gibbs without her, right after telling him that they were in a relationship. It was closed from the moment Tony had wanted to talk to Gibbs alone and it had remained closed.

She never asked Tony about the conversation. She respected Tony and Gibbs. She respected the fact that whatever their conversation was, it was between them. She figured that one day she would find out what it was. She had pushed the thought aside when they returned home for something else that ended up being more confusing and harder to interpret; something that nearly hurt and took more trust.

Her father had been on-screen in MTAC as soon as they got back to the headquarters of NCIS in Washington, DC. She had been confused as to why he was calling them, or they were calling him… whichever way that went, when she was called in there to talk to him. She had gone in, unwillingly, but without being coaxed. She had talked to him. She learned that he knew of the relationship she had with Tony and he had asked too many questions about that relationship. But, finally, she stood her ground with her father and decided it was time to make herself happy. She had gone through much of her life putting her own wants and needs aside to please him, despite the fact that she knew he was never going to fully accept her for what she was pretending to be.

The sole topic of conversation had been confusing enough by itself, but there was something far more confusing that followed. It was in the conversation after Eli David ended their phone call that had her the most confused about all of this. It was what she learned in that conversation that confused her so much. She remembered that conversation quite clearly, along with all of the emotions that had been flying through her at the time.

**_The call was cut. The screen first turned to a wide array of colors before it was shut off on their end too. It went dark. It was completely black now. She stood there staring at it for another short moment, unable to comprehend what had just happened, what had been said, and what had been asked and answered._**

**_Ziva felt assaulted by her father's questioning. But, she also felt triumphant; she had finally done something to please herself. She felt like she won for the first time in her life, in regards to her father; basically she had ignored what he was asking of her and done something to please herself; she was no longer his Mossad Officer, she was a free person to do as she pleased, when she pleased._**

**_Of course, Eli David wasn't a happy many about this. No. Not at all. But, she was happy. That was what mattered to her now. She didn't care about making her father happy with her anymore. She wanted to make a life for herself and if that life was going to include Tony, then that was what she wanted to do, with or without her father's approval. She had long ago stopped searching for his approval, and now she was able to show that._**

**_All in all, Ziva felt free from her father. The call ended and she had proven to him that she was making her own choices and she was free from whatever he wished for her. But, she was also confused as to how he knew about her relationship with Tony, why he wanted to talk to her about it, why he had such a strong opinion on it, why he wanted to warn her about him after all this time, and what had caused this call to take place at all._**

**_"Is there some case that I did not hear about?" she asked, turning around, finally, and facing Gibbs, figuring he must have been the source of the call… or the reason behind the call, since he was in the room._**

**_"Nope," Gibbs said simply, with a slight sideways glance toward Tony before his eyes returned to Ziva._**

**_If there was no case that involved Israel or Mossad then there was no reason to use MTAC to call Eli David, the Director of Mossad. Ziva felt her eyes narrow as confusion set in inside her and her curiosity grew a little more._**

**_"Why did he call?" she asked, the confusing clear in her voice. Gibbs and Tony could also clear that she was doubting whatever Eli's motives might have been, but she could see a sideways glance exchanged between the two of them, and she realized that her assumption was wrong. He hadn't called them._**

**_"He didn't" Gibbs said after sharing his glance with Tony, who was looking as white as a ghost now that he had to answer some questions. He looked as though he had been dreading the end of the call since Ziva had walked into the room and she could see it on his face. She grew still more curious and eager to get an answer._**

**_Ziva's eyes narrowed again. This time it was the old, wild, and dangerous expression that was captured on her face. She didn't know why Gibbs kept looking at Tony or why either of them would have called Eli David in the first place. She realized that whatever this call was about, was not only something to do with Tony, but something to do with her as well, since she had been called into the room. She was suspicious now. She was going to double check herself this time before assuming though, since the last assumption had been wrong._**

**_"Did you call him, Gibbs?" she asked, her suspicion obvious when she spoke._**

**_"Nope," he repeated, shaking his head slightly._**

**_"I did," Tony muttered, staring hard into Ziva's eyes as hers finally traveled to him when he finally spoke up, still looking a little pale._**

**_Ziva's heart was racing a little and there was a knot in the pit of her stomach. Why had Tony called Eli David of all people to call from MTAC without having business involving Mossad? Why had he used NCIS for his time to call him?_**

**_Ziva felt a little panicked. She could feel a knot in her chest clenching tightly as the panic set in from the memories of dealing with her father. She was worried, also. Anything involving her father never ended well. What was going on? She was so confused by this move. She was barely breathing from the knot that had moved from her stomach to her chest, but she was also nearly hyperventilating and could feel a panic attack coming on; something she hadn't experienced since before going to Paris with Tony._**

**_Ziva closed her eyes for a moment, and remembered that Tony never did anything without a very good reason. He wouldn't hurt her on purpose and he knew that this had to be worth whatever pain she was going to go through in seeing him again. She was already beginning to calm down, just knowing that Tony had a reason that was going to be a good one._**

**_She looked up at Tony again, opening her eyes and staring into his. He knew that this hurt her, but he had to do it. His eyes told her that, even though his mouth couldn't. There was definitely some good reason that Tony had decided to call Eli David. She relaxed a little more, but was struck with more curiosity and more confusion._**

**_She wanted to know what Tony could possibly have for a reason to call Eli when they had no case. She wanted to know what had made Tony see that it was okay to call Eli. What had off-set the need to keep Ziva happy and sacrifice it a little to talk to her father? She wanted to know. But, she also knew that she wasn't going to know just yet._**

**_"Why?" she asked, even though she knew she wasn't going to get an answer._**

**_Tony shrugged casually, though his eyes looked hurt. He glanced sideways at his boss for some kind of support. Gibbs only nodded to him. But then, decided to leave the room, giving Tony no additional support, but whispering to Ziva on the way out._**

**_"Trust him, David," he whispered into her ear and left._**

**_Tony's eyes returned to Ziva after watching his boss walk away. She stared into the depths of his green eyes. She relaxed a little under his intense gaze, knowing that she could trust him, even without knowing the reason behind this call and the emotions that talking to her father brought up inside her. She also knew that she could talk to him about these emotions and he would support her all the way through whatever she was feeling._**

**_"Same reason I wanted to talk to Gibbs," Tony nearly whispered into the darkness of MTAC._**

**_Ziva nodded to him. She didn't understand by any means. She was still horribly confused, but she trusted Tony. She knew that whatever Tony was keeping to himself now he was doing it for a good reason and probably going to tell her sooner rather than later. She sighed and closed her eyes again._**

**_Ziva took one small, blind step forward without opening her eyes, knowing that her face showed her vulnerability now that no one was watching and that her emotions were pouring out of her and Tony could read every single one of them without needing her eyes to tell him._**

**_She felt Tony's arms wrap around her waist. She also heard Gibbs whispered words ringing through her head again. "Trust him, David," he had whispered._**

**_Ziva certainly did trust Tony. She had to trust him. She didn't know how to not trust Tony. She didn't think that was a possibility anymore. And, even though she knew this was hurting her and confusing her and striking her curiosity, she knew it was his business for now and she could trust him with whatever was going on that she didn't know about._**

**_ She was going to trust him and whatever he was doing. He hadn't called Eli to control her or hurt her and she knew that. He had called with a purpose, though her father hadn't given anything away while he spoke to her about her relationship._**

She had thought about that conversation and the two weeks that followed a lot since they happened. She had spent countless hours thinking about it and finally realized how much she was relying on Tony to keep the trust that she was putting into him now. She had never placed that much trust in anyone else in her entire life. She knew that she could trust Tony with that, but also realized how much being with him was changing her; and she was okay with this. But, she still wanted to know, what was he up to?

Just because she trusted Tony, didn't mean she wasn't curious about what he was doing. But, things were already starting to fall into place, only a week after that important conversation in MTAC. It was another (short but important) conversation on their weekend off after their case closed. It was during that Friday night, when they had just gotten home from NCIS after turning in all their paperwork on the case.

**_"I want to go away the week after next," Tony said quietly as they entered his apartment, where they were now living together._**

**_They had take-out in-hand and were heading toward the couch. He had said that as her back was turned to her. Instantly she started to panic. He wanted to take a week off… why? She was confused. What did he mean? Did he want to spend time apart? Did they rush into things? Did he need time away? What had she missed?_**

**_Ziva stopped dead where she was. She took in a breath. She could trust Tony, though she was sure that he noticed how she stiffened at his words. She set down the bags of take-out and sat down on the couch, leaving enough room for him. She faced him and watched him sit down. She knew that the confusion was still showing on her face, as though she had missed what he had said. Did he really just say that?_**

**_"I want to go away with you the week after next," Tony amended, taking her hand in his._**

**_Ziva nodded. She was definitely curious about what had brought this on. It wasn't that she didn't want to spend time away from work with Tony, but she was curious as to why he wanted to go away. She was always up for a vacation, since she hadn't had many in her life, but this move made her curious._**

**_She didn't say anything, though. She wasn't entirely sure what to say. Could they get the week off? Was it too late to ask for something so close to the time off that they both wanted? Would this work?_**

**_"Okay, honesty… I already talked to Gibbs and Vance…. We've both got that week off and I would like to take you to Hawaii… well, actually, I already bought the plane tickets, too…. It's warm there, the way you like it. There's sand and water, so it's nice…. We could really enjoy ourselves… if you want to do something different that's okay, too…. But, if you are mad at me for requesting time off for you, I'll understand… I mean, I didn't exactly ask you, did I?"_**

**_"Tony," Ziva said in a breathy voice, unable to find words for what she wanted to say._**

**_She had gone through an array of emotions. Yes, he had requested time off for her, but he knew her well. She always wanted a vacation and sometimes (especially when you were dating your partner at work) you needed to take a vacation. She liked the thought of going to Hawaii, and was really touched at how much thought he had put into it and how he had done all this as a surprise to her. She wanted to chuckle about his worrying about whether she would be okay with it or not, but she knew that it was only because he loved her and didn't want her to be angry._**

**_Ziva moved without thinking, nearly leaping into his arms. Her mouth attached to his instantly and it was obviously not the response he was expecting out of her, though it didn't take him long to wrap his arms around her and for them to both forget about the take-out that they had gone out of their way to get, since it was Israeli food._**

They didn't talk about the vacation further that night, the rest of the weekend, or most of the following week. And, although they had cold take-out that night, it was totally worth it. Her reaction had told him many things. One: they didn't have enough alone time at home. Two: she was definitely okay with what he had done. Three: they loved each other more and more everyday. And four: they needed to spend more time in the bedroom, because there was some pent up sexual tension between them from just the few exhausting days that case had given them without time for each other.

It was later that week that they had finally found the time to really discuss this vacation further. Ziva was able to tell Tony, with words, that she was excited about going away for a week with him. She wanted to go, because her time with Tony was always great and she was looking forward to a whole week of just the two of them and nothing to interrupt them and what they wanted to do. It would be a piece of heaven, though she knew she would miss working if that was the way she lived all the time.

They were already in Hawaii, though, as she thought back on all of this. They had been here for two full days. But, the pieces were starting to make sense now that she was here. She was starting to catch onto what was going on, finally. The curious conversation with Gibbs, the confusing call to her father, the fancy dinner the night before they left, the romantic evening their first night here, the romantic atmosphere that Tony was providing, and most of all this wonderful vacation which allowed them to get totally lost in each other without worrying about missing an important phone call from their boss.

Ziva stood now on the white sands of the beach near their rented house. It was late, probably already after ten. The moon was full and shining high in the sky above their heads. She had her eyes closed just taking it all in. she loved the warm, evening breeze drifting in off the ocean and thoroughly enjoyed the feel of Tony's arms wrapped around her waist as she stood there.

The past two days here had been absolute heaven. There had been no work, no stress, no lives threatened, no murders, no forensic evidence, no bodies, and no crime scenes. It was something she never thought she would see for a day in her life. She was just with Tony and he was with her. It was the way a vacation was supposed to be.

Tony moved just a little to come up next to her. He took his arms from around her middle and she missed his tough as soon as it left her. But, both of his hands found hers and their fingers automatically laced together. She knew this was going to be a very serious moment. She even thought she knew what was coming at her. Her heart was already racing as she looked up into his deep, green eyes, which stared into her own chocolate-colored ones.

They stood there for a moment in silence. Her heart was racing and she knew her cheeks were flushed. She could feel adrenaline coursing through her veins. She knew now. It all made sense now. He wore a look of absolute love and adoration and he had such a serious expression that she knew exactly what he was going to ask at the end of whatever he had to say to her. She let a small smile play on her lips as he stood there gazing into her eyes as though he could see right through to her soul.

Tony's mouth pulled up a little at the corners, giving her a smile to answer hers, as though he realized what he was going to get the answer he wanted out of her, even though he hadn't said anything yet. He had not known what to say and even though he didn't, when she smiled, he knew that his heart would speak for him; he had to trust that. Tony squeezed her hands a little and as if on queue, when her smile came, he spoke to her.

"Ziva, we've known each other for six years now. You walked into my life at the worst possibly time… okay, maybe not the absolute worst, but definitely top five worst," he began, already needing to correct himself, as he was unsure of what to say to her. "You came into that squad room in your cargo pants and plain T-shirt, with your wild hair down and curly, just the way I love it… I had just lost a best friend and coworker who was like a sister to me and I was devastated by that fact… you walked in while I was having a childish moment, and let's just say you had me at phone sex…."

They both laughed, remembering the moment that they first met. Tony squeezed her hand a little and continued on.

"You were wild, dangerous, more than off-limits, frightening, and beautiful. But, you squeezed your way into my heart that day in that squad room. I had to follow you and spy on you and you caught me, which was something that hadn't ever happened before. I tried to play it cool for a long time, but somehow I think you knew what was going on deep inside my heart. We had to survive an undercover mission as a married couple, a fake relationship assigned to me, the death of Jenny, a reassignment, a fake relationship assigned to you, leaving you behind, you going through hell, me going through hell to find your in hell, and so much more. But, we survived every bit of it, Ziva. We did it together.

"Things were so different when we rescued you. You were different. I was different. The team was different. We were different. But, we started to heal together. In Paris things began to change between us, though I didn't want to admit that, because I knew you weren't ready then. So, I did what I could and kept it to myself. I only wanted to help you.

"When you reached out and asked me to help you, I was thrilled. I was glad that you trusted me enough to do that for you, but I knew that it would change us, just as Paris had. But, things escalated quickly enough. I don't consider that last vacation really a vacation, because most of that time we were still avoiding what we needed to discuss. But, we finally did it and pulled our act together. We were together, finally. That was the best moment of my life up to right then. I was so happy. I don't even know how to say it.

"After a wonderful year, I'm happier than I ever dreamed. We've certainly had our ups and downs as we adjusted to being in a relationship and we've dealt with them wonderfully together, as a team, as partners, as soul-mates. I can't picture my life without you, I can't live without you, and I don't want to. Ziva Adina David, will you marry me?"

Tony dropped to one knee, holding out a diamond ring in front of him. Ziva had tears in her eyes. She could barely breathe, let alone answer him. The light of the moon illuminated the diamond on top of the ring and she knew that was his mother's ring. It was beautiful, intricate, and small. It fit them. It suited them in every possible way.

Ziva dropped to her knees from all of the emotions of love and contentment coursing through her body. She kneeled in front of Tony, level with him, equal to him, with a wide smile on her face, tears of happiness pouring down her cheeks.

"Yes! Yes, Anthony Daniel DiNozzo! I will marry you!" she managed to say and leaned forward finally giving into the impulse and kissing him, their lips crashing together, tears of joy streaming down both of their faces.

Ziva was trembling in his arms as he found her left hand and her ring finger, slipping the ring into place. It was a perfect fit. Her arms instantly went around his neck and held him in place, while his went to her waist, locking her whole body to him. The moment was perfect, everything was right and she found her happy ending, even though she knew the story was far from over. It was a beginning of the new and the ending of the old, making her realize that it was a happy beginning and not an ending at all. She was committed to him, and he to her. It was more than she ever dreamed she could have in life and she was happy beyond description.

Everything made sense. He had talked to Gibbs about this. Gibbs had suggested he call Eli, which was why Eli had wanted to talk to Ziva but hadn't mentioned the reason for the call. Tony called Eli to tell him what he was planning, not to ask, because she knew what her father would have said. Tony planned the week off without asking her, worrying that she was angry. The romance of the vacation fit in perfectly with this very moment. How could she be anything other than overjoyed right now?


	7. Surprises

A/N – Here is another chapter, not too far in the future like the others have come. I'm thinking on doing a larger series off this story, with more chapters and more details of the in between times… what do you all think, since this is kind of a string of one-shots? I really enjoy this story and don't want to screw it up, but I was thinking that it would be nice to see the whole string of things that Tony and Ziva have gone through since Paris and how they both changed. Leave a review or PM on what you think.

* * *

**Washington, DC**

Ziva stood in front of the mirror of the bathroom for a while, before beginning to pace the room nervously. She was taking much longer to get ready this morning than she did any other morning. They had both woken up rather early, feeling rested from their vacation, but they were a little nervous going back to work today. They knew that the ring on Ziva's finger would be more than visible and that others would ask questions.

Ziva could hear Tony pacing outside of the bathroom, wondering what was taking her so long. She glanced down at her wrist-watch that she was wearing. She continued pacing the bathroom, a million thoughts running through her mind. The first question she had was: why hadn't they been more careful? That was the only thing she could think right now as she listened to the ticking of her watch. She didn't even think time was really passing, because it seemed to be going so slow, and waiting was difficult as always.

Suddenly the bathroom door was opened and Ziva half-jumped and half-turned to see Tony. She could see her worry reflected on his face as he spotted the small white test on the counter next to the sink. He looked at her with question in his eyes, but didn't ask what was on his mind. She glanced at the clock and realized it was time to check. She swallowed about a thousand thoughts she was having and started to turn to the test, feeling more than afraid. She closed her eyes feeling herself trembling and nearly cracking in her fear.

She felt Tony's hands on her. They started on her shoulders and slowly slid down her arms before wrapping around her stomach. She knew that he was facing the test already and probably looking at it. She looked at him and he pointed to the test.

Ziva nodded and slowly turned to face the sink. There was a small plus sign on it that made her choke on some tears. There were tears of fear, tears of joy, and tears of worry all running through her now. She leaned into Tony unsure of what to feel first.

"I'm scared," she whispered into his chest as she pressed herself into him, desperately needing his comfort at that moment.

He nodded, but didn't say anything. Nothing needed to be said. She didn't want anything said. He was scared too; she could feel him trembling. It wasn't that long ago that they had gone through this with some hope. Her arms tightened around him knowing that right now he needed her as much as she needed him.

Tony pressed his whole self into Ziva and took a rattling breath in and let it out in a long and worried sigh. Ziva was trembling more than he had ever felt her tremble and he knew she was working very hard to hold herself together. He squeezed her tight to him and rested his head on top of hers, suddenly feeling the wetness of her tears as she began to sob into his chest.

Ziva tightened her arms around Tony knowing that her emotions were screaming to get out with good reason. She knew that, now more than ever, she had to do the healthy thing and let the emotions go. She finally gave in and allowed those tears at the edges of her eyes slip down her cheeks and onto Tony's shirt. She felt his breath falter as he realized she was crying, but his grip only tightened on her until she wasn't crying nearly as much and was under control again.

Tony lowered his head a little so his chin was resting on her shoulder. His hot breath was hitting her neck and sending very different shivers up her spine. She shuddered in his arms and her breath caught in her throat as she allowed her eyes to slide closed and allowed comfort to come to her as easily as the fear had.

"Call your midwife," he whispered in her ear.

Without letting go of his fiancée, he reached in his back pocket for the phone that was there. It was hers. He had finished collecting her things since he had thought she was just having a slow morning. He knew now that it wasn't an average morning for either of them.

Ziva dialed the phone slowly, almost hesitantly. Why hadn't they been more careful? Would this end up as the incident six weeks ago had? Were they doomed for more heartache? Could this last? Would they make it through the crucial time? What would the others say? Who cared what the others would say?! Why was she worrying so much? And why was she so overwhelmed with worrying about everything now?

She swallowed everyone of those questions and more. She had one thing she could definitely do now that was only a little stressful. She pressed the send button and made the call.

"Dr. Johnson's office, how can I help you this morning?" answered the voice of the secretary that Ziva knew was named Joyce.

"Good morning Joyce, I would like to make an appointment right away. This is Ziva David," she said confidently, though she felt far from it and was shaking in Tony's arms, already knowing they were going to be late on their first day back to work (that they were already late for their first day back to work), which didn't look good. She would explain it to Gibbs, because she could always go talk to Gibbs and she knew that. She had known that before he had said it to them three weeks ago.

"What is this about, Ziva?" the secretary asked, genuine worry in her voice, already knowing enough of Ziva's history to know that she hated going to the doctor and certainly never asked to do so right away. Ziva recognized her worry, but continued on, knowing what had to be done.

"I have had another positive home pregnancy test. I need to come in as soon as you have an opening. It is very important, I had a miscarriage six weeks ago," Ziva said, with a new wave of emotions of urgency and fear washing over her.

"We have an opening now," the secretary said. "What's the soonest you can get here?"

"Now," Ziva said, half-questioning and half-certain.

Her question was for Tony, though she knew that they would make it work out somehow, no matter what the cost, since this was more important to both of them.

Tony nodded toward Ziva and pulled out his own phone. He had the phone dialed, but waited until Ziva was off the phone to make the call, just to double check that they were going to be very, very late to work today. And there was just no way that Tony was going to let Ziva go through this alone ever; not with the fear of miscarriage hanging over their heads.

"Okay, how far away from the office are you?" Joyce asked her.

"Ten minutes," Ziva said with certainty, already having clocked it from their apartment now that she was living with Tony permanently.

"Will your boyfriend be coming in with you again this time?"

"Fiancée now," she corrected automatically, as though they had been engaged forever already.

"Well, congratulations!" the secretary said, sounding as though she had a good reason to smile over this when she usually saw Ziva only twice each year. "I'll see you two in about ten minutes, then."

"We will be there," Ziva promised and took the other phone from Tony as she hung up her own cell phone, wanting to be the one to actually make the call to Gibbs.

She pressed the call button and turned it to speaker phone, her hand shaking with a wave of nerves crashing over her like a tsunami, knowing that his innitial reaction to them being late was not going to be a good one. The phone rang twice and then Gibbs answered.

"DiNozzo, you had better have a god damn good excuse for calling me fifteen minutes after you're already supposed to be here. Obviously you're not on your way yet," Gibbs said, sounding angry. "What in the hell is the hold-up this time? I thought we talked about you two not showing up late again anytime soon, unless it was an absolute emergency? Tell me you two didn't get distracted the morning after you were on vacation for a week?"

"Need another half day, boss," Tony said urgently, sounding worried and using a very short reply to all of his boss's questions, refusing to take too much time in answering all that.

"What's troubling you? Miss the flight? Oversleep? Had a fight?" Gibbs asked, sounding very suddenly worried about what could hold these two up for another half day last minute. He knew that missing the flight was out of the question, but it was the first thing that came to his mind to ask.

"Positive home-pregnancy test," Ziva said in a small voice clenching onto Tony again, as though her whole world depended on his touch in this crucial moment in their lives. "We're going to the doctor's right away. With my history it's necessary. Gibbs, I am sorry."

"Don't apologize, kid," Gibbs said sounding both worried and sympathetic at the same time.

"Gibbs...?" Ziva began, but wasn't entirely sure what she was asking.

"I won't tell the others. Listen, don't worry about a thing now. Get to your doctor and get this taken care of. Family always comes first, kid. Take your half-day. Get here by noon if you can," Gibbs said in understanding, still sounding as worried as Ziva and Tony did. "Just shoot me a text when you're on the way and how long you'll be. I'll see you both later. And, good luck!"

"Thank you," Ziva said quietly and hung up the phone without another word.

Tony led them down toward the car quickly and Ziva climbed in and buckled her seatbelt, her heart already racing. She was unsure of whether to be excited, nervous, scared, happy, or worried.

Tony drove carefully all the way to the doctor's office and parked the car in the parking lot before turning to Ziva and speaking to her. He had been giving both of them plenty of time to collect their thoughts.

"What's on your mind?" he asked shakily, still feeling too many emotions himself for this conversation and knew that she, too, was feeling too many emotions.

"Everything," Ziva said. "I'm terrified, Tony."

"Me too," he said quietly, knowing that was not at all what she needed to hear, but knowing that the truth was what she needed more than hearing false comfort.

"I want to be excited," she said quietly and honestly. "I just do not wish to get my hopes up."

He nodded and took her hand, gently kissing the back of it. She knew that he could feel her trembling and she knew that was why he gave her hand an extra squeeze as he moved it back away from his lips. They made their way into the building. The midwife, Cara, took her in right away and did an ultrasound before anything else.

"You are pregnant, Ziva," she confirmed, looking at the picture. "Judging by the growth of the fetus I would say around six weeks. The fetus is attached in a good place, where there wasn't much scarring to begin with. That's a good sign. Things appear normal. The fetus has a strong heartbeat. I would like you to come in next week at the same time for another ultrasound, so we can see how things are progressing. Don't change anything about your routine, just remember, no getting shot in the uterus."

They both nodded at her. "Cara?" Ziva asked timidly. "What are the chances I will lose this one?"

"Lower than last time," she said certainly. "But, I can't give you a number until next week. I would say they are much lower than last time around. Go on to work. I know you're late. We can talk more about it next week when you come in again. Just make sure you're eating healthy and all is well. Here's a prenatal vitamin for you with extra iron oxide in it. That should help with everything, since you have a history. Go on to work."

They both nodded and stood up, looking at each other fearfully but also with hope lacing its way into their minds. Ziva took the pill as soon as she got into the car. Her hands were shaking with excitement and nerves.

"Why were we so careless?" she asked Tony.

"Because a part of us wants this so much that we don't care if it happens now," Tony replied. "I want this, Ziva."

"So do I, Tony. I'm just afraid," she said quietly, taking his hand off the steering wheel, needing him closer to her.

They arrived at NCIS, both having forgotten to text Gibbs on their way. They climbed into the elevator and Tony pulled her into a tight embrace. They clung to each other like the world around them didn't matter.

The elevator soon dinged as the silver doors slid open and they were still locked in an embrace. Someone joined them and pressed a button before they could realize thattime hadn't actually stopped and get out. They only realized who was there when the elevator stopped suddenly.

"Talk to me," Gibbs said as both his agents looked up.

"Six weeks," Ziva said quietly unable to think everything through at that moment.

"And?" Gibbs asked.

"The fetus is attached in a better area than last time; an area that didn't have a lot of scar tissue before it was removed, so it's less likely to lose it this time," Tony explained. "The midwife says chances are better than last time. Boss?"

"Yes, Tony," Gibbs said, using his Senior Field Agent's first name for the first time in his memory.

"We don't want to tell the others right now," he said. "We're both afraid of what might happen."

"I thought you two were trying to wait."

"My prescription ran out and we had some problems with the pharmacy for a couple of weeks there," Ziva explained. "We were careless."

He nodded in understanding, seeing how these two could be careless when all they were filled with was love for each other and happiness. Now they were terrified and they needed his help. He was going to do whatever it took to keep these two feeling safe through this.

"I've got you," he said, taking both his agents into a hug and pulling them close. They were his kids and they knew it. They could feel the fatherly love in the embrace and then Gibbs switched the elevator back on. "Restrictions?"

"Don't get shot in the uterus," Ziva said.

"Well, it's recommended that you don't do that anyway," Gibbs said with a chuckle. "But, we'll take some extra precautions when we go into the field from now on. I'm glad you two talked to me. If there's anything else, all you have to do is let me know and I will make sure you are taken care of."

They both thanked Gibbs as the elevator doors opened and all three agents got out to a confused-looking McGee, Ducky, Palmer, and Abby. They were staring at the three who had just exited the elevator each wondering why Tony and Ziva were so late and then also wondering why Gibbs had joined them in the elevator and everyone was looking so worried.

"Back to work," Gibbs barked at the others.

But, no one moved. They had all spotted it, including Gibbs, though he hadn't said anything in the elevator about it. They all were staring down at Ziva's hand as she placed her hands on her desk and began to work on some paperwork from the previous case before they had a new case to work on.

"Ziva?" Abby questioned.

They hadn't even known about the relationship that her and Tony were having and therefore they didn't know that they were engaged. For that matter, they were all under the impression that both agents were completely single and therefore didn't know that either one of them could possibly be engaged.

"Abby?" Ziva said, turning to her and realized instantly where her eyes, along with everyone else's eyes, were staring.

Ziva's face broke into a smile and her face went pink. It was so flushed with color that others that weren't Tony actually noticed and she could tell. Ducky walked forward to her, looking confused and examined the ring before backing up.

"You going to tell us about your relationship?" Abby asked quietly. "Who are you seeing? How long have you been seeing him? When did he propose? Oh, and how was your vacation?"

"My vacation was wonderful," Ziva answered, still feeling slightly flushed but standing up from her desk and walking around it. She glanced at Tony who was also standing. She looked around at the group of people surrounding her. They were family and they needed to know. Ziva went the rest of the way to Tony's side. "We've been together for more than a year. He proposed to me almost a week ago."

At first, the others looked very confused, as though they didn't have a clue as to what Ziva was talking about, and they all narrowed their eyes and exchanged perplexed glances before returning their eyes to Ziva, hoping she would explain what she said and why she was standing so close to Tony.

Ziva slid her arm carefully around Tony's waist and he smiled down at her as he slid his own arm behind her back and around her waist. He pulled her close to his side and held her tight, protectively.

Abby and McGee both looked more confused by this gesture, wondering what the hell was going on. Palmer was shaking his head as though he was seeing something strange and had misheard her and Ducky was smiling at the two holding onto each other tightly. Ziva glanced at Gibbs, who was also smiling at the two of them.

"Took him long enough," Gibbs said quietly with a slight chuckle. Ducky laughed at this but the others just turned to look at him confused. "What?" he asked with a shrug as he sat back down at his desk to continue working. He still didn't remove his eyes from Tony and Ziva, already knowing there would be more questions coming his way since he wasn't protesting what was clearly in front of him.

"You approved this?" Abby asked, clearly confused.

"I did," Gibbs said quietly, nodding. "I definitely did."

The others looked more confused than before. "Congratulations, I think," McGee said, shaking his head. "Any reason you didn't share with the class?"

"We are not in a class," Ziva said confused.

"It's an expression, love," Tony said quietly into her ear, though he knew the others heard his words. "Meaning you didn't share with the other people in the room."

Ziva nodded slightly and said a silent "oh" as she understood the meaning. "No particular reason, McGee," Ziva said quietly. "We just did not tell anyone for a long while. We wanted to make it work first."

The others were still looking confused and Abby was shaking her head. "I didn't see that coming," she muttered quietly. "I thought I would know if you two started something. I mean, yea… there's definitely chemistry between you two and you've both been acting strangely nice to each other lately and been showing up late and took a vacation at the same time… but I just thought it was a coincidence… although you've also both been busy on the same nights too. I guess I should have seen it, huh?"

"Yea, I guess so," Tony said quietly chickling at just how obvious it was that they had been together. "But we did work hard to hide it for a long while. Gibbs approved it about three weeks ago when we were working that case in North Carolina."

"He actually approves?" Palmer asked. "He hates coworkers dating!"

"He usually does," Gibbs threw in. "But this is Tony and Ziva we're talking about. They fell in love a long time ago, but they've refused to see it until now. I just hope that they don't see some other things so unclearly ever again. They're perfect for each other, like they were made that way."

"Now that I've heard everything… I think I will go back to my lab and prepare for the end of the world as we know it," Abby said, still shaking her head. "Congratulations, I think."

She sounded so confused and lost in her thoughts and Tony and Ziva wondered if they would get any genuine statements today or if they were all going to be so down at that moment.

"Congratulations to both of you and I am with Jethro on this one. It's about time!" Ducky said with a smile before retreating after Abby.

McGee was at a loss for more words, so he sat back down at his desk and Ziva turned her face to Tony and pressed a light kiss to his cheek before returning to her desk. Her stomach felt a little off, but she knew that was just because she was hungry and was getting nauseous from not eating. She looked at the clock. It was twelve already. She glanced at Gibbs, who was deep in his work. She didn't want to say something, because it sounded rude, especially after showing up late, but she needed to eat. She needed to stay as healthy as she could.

"Um…," she began as Gibbs glanced from his computer screen to Ziva.

"You and Tony go get lunch," he said instantly.

"What about me, boss?" McGee asked with a frown.

"You can have yours at the normal time, McGee. Ziva needs to eat. Hasn't eaten all morning," Gibbs said softly. "They had a good reason for being late this morning and that reason also requires Ziva to eat on time. And, who am I to split up the dynamic duo?"

"Are you sick Ziva?" McGee asked.

"No, McGee. I just need to eat on time and all the right things. It is nothing to worry about now," Ziva said quietly, shaking her head a little and realizing that hiding this and not hoping so much was a little more difficult than she thought it was going to be.

Tony met Ziva near the elevator and pressed the button to send them down, planting a kiss on top of her forehead. They told the team. They were taking care of Ziva. Gibbs was helping them. They were going to be okay, no matter what happened.

* * *

A/N – Don't forget to leave a review or a private message on what you think about me doing a larger story based on this one of the events that went on between these chapters, including what was already stated in these chapters. Thanks everyone!


	8. Coming Around

A/N – Another chapter for this story. A happy chapter with a little bit of emotion thrown in. I hope you like it!

* * *

**Washington, DC**

It had been two weeks since the team had found out that Tony and Ziva were not only together, but also engaged now. Finally, Abby allowed the information to sink into her head. She sent out a text message. They were doing dinner tonight at her place. They were going to celebrate this Abby's way. Tony and Ziva both knew that it involved alcohol and Ziva was reluctant to go. She wasn't ready to tell the others the rest of the news yet. It was not only too soon for them to hear so much, but it was too soon for her to share, even though things were looking great so far.

Tony met Ziva in the break-room during their lunch. Ziva looked exhausted. She had her head down on the table and wasn't eating anything. He had seen this many times before. He was sure her stomach was upset and she was ready for a nap. He sighed and sat down next to her. He placed a gentle and caring hand on her back and rubbed it gently as she rested her head.

"I'm scared, Tony," she whispered, without picking her head up or looking at him.

"What are you afraid of?" he asked.

"Abby's party," Ziva said. "She's going to have champagne she told me.

"I could offer to bring it and bring sparkling cider instead?" Tony offered with a light smile on his face. "We'll figure it out."

Ziva nodded and sat up, looking Tony in the eyes. She was concerned about this and everything that was going on. She was really beginning to worry far too much. They both knew it. They were both worrying about the baby and the team finding out about the baby and how it was going to affect their lives. They had already started looking around at houses, even though they enjoyed Tony's apartment. They knew that there was a good chance that they were keeping this one and they needed a bigger space with an extra bedroom for the baby.

"I'm not going to be drinking either," Tony said. "I promise. If you're not drinking then neither am I. It's only fair."

Ziva smiled at him and pulled her chair closer to his. He wrapped his arms around her and held her in place there, with her head on his chest. They had been misbehaving horribly at work in the last week. Ziva's emotions were out of control and she was completely exhausted, and yet nobody dared to say anything to either of them about appropriate office behavior yet, though they both knew the conversation was coming if they kept it up.

"Something about work conduct," said Gibbs' voice with laughter following it. "How you feeling, Ziva?"

"Exhausted, if I am being honest. Not hungry. Sick to my stomach. Nervous. Scared. Terrified. Excited. Happy. You know," Ziva said with a smile on her face.

Gibbs laughed. "All the right emotions for a pregnant person," he said quietly and joined his two agents at the table. "You need a naptime?"

"I will be fine," Ziva said laughing at his words.

"I'm serious, Ziva," Gibbs said.

"So am I, Gibbs," she said just as seriously.

"You need to take care of yourself. If you're exhausted, you need to sleep. If that means I need to give you an hour for a nap, then that's what I'll do. If that means you need to spend three hours in the bathroom everyday, then that's what I'll do. If you need three meals during the day, then you'll get them. If you need to go home early, you'll go home early. But, honestly, Ziva, I'm not going to let you two go through that again," Gibbs said quietly and seriously. "You're carrying my grandbaby and I'll make sure you take care of yourself and him or her."

Ziva smiled and so did Tony. Their arms tightened around each other. They had had a talk with Gibbs not too long ago. They were wondering if it was alright if the child referred to him as "grandpa". He had smiled at the thought. He liked that idea more than anything in the world. These were his kids and they were having a kid. He was going to be the child's grandfather and that was that.

"Go on home, both of you. DiNozzo, get her a nap and then we'll see you tonight at Abby's. I volunteered to bring the champagne. I'll make sure I'm the one to pour it so you two get the sparkling cider," Gibbs said quietly. "I know you two are keeping this quite until you're sure it sticks."

They smiled at him. "Thank you, Gibbs," they both said at the same time and he smiled at them.

They returned to the squad room and grabbed their bags. They had spent every morning riding to work together now that they were no longer hiding their relationship from everyone. McGee gave them a confused look as Gibbs stepped back into the squad room.

"They're going home to get some rest, McGee," Gibbs said to them. "They've got to be lively tonight at dinner, I think. And, we've all been working really hard on this case. A lot of late nights. If you need the rest, you should go home too and Abby."

"I'm fine, boss," McGee said, his confusion growing a little more. Gibbs never usually cared whether his team was rested or not and certainly not for a night of fun. What was making him so soft about it now? McGee was not the only one who was wondering. There was the girl that was sitting on the other side of the dividing wall that had tried to get with Tony a hundred times at least, EJ Berrett that was looking curious too. But, it was her last day and she hadn't heard the conversation about Tony and Ziva being together. She shook her head and ran to meet them at the elevator.

They all climbed in. She needed to go down anyway. She looked over at them. They were standing close, but not touching each other. She watched for a moment and then decided it was time to speak.

"What are you doing tonight, Tony?" she asked.

"Going to a family dinner," he said quietly, without taking his eyes off Ziva. EJ had become somewhat of a problem the last few days and they wondered if she would ever heard the news that they were engaged to each other.

"Oh," she said quietly. "I was going to see if you wanted to go out for drinks. Maybe afterwards?"

"Not drinking," he said. "And, I'm busy afterwards. As a matter of fact, I can safely tell you I'm busy for the rest of my life."

"What?" EJ said with shock. "I took you for a player. Flirting. Going out. Drinking. You know?"

"Used to," Tony said. "Until I found where my heart belonged."

Tony's eyes were still trained on Ziva and she was smiling up at him. She took his hand and nearly sighed at him. She had known his past and she hadn't cared. He had known some of her past and hadn't cared. That was one thing that told them that they genuinely loved each other.

EJ's eyes flashed to the glint on Ziva's left hand and her eyes widened. "I would personally rather remain a free spirit," she muttered to herself. "No more going out. No more dating random people. No more having fun. No more exploring other people. You don't know what you two are giving up."

"You don't know what you're missing by commitment," Ziva retaliated. "Trust me."

"Says the girl who doesn't trust anyone," EJ argued. "How can you marry someone if you don't trust them?"

"Because she does trust me," Tony said quietly and pulled Ziva into his arms, without their eyes leaving each other. "You'll know what I mean if you ever find someone that is so right for you."

She sighed as the elevator opened and allowed Tony and Ziva to leave her alone to her thoughts and disgusted look. She shrugged and got out. Tony and Ziva walked to the car and climbed in, starting their journey home. They were both satisfied with the way they handled EJ and it wasn't the first time that they had handled her, but the first time since telling everyone at NCIS that they belonged to each other. EJ was tired of being let down by Tony and Ziva wasn't entirely sure why she kept trying, but she could see a glimmer of something in her eyes, saying that she was not done trying to make Tony less than reliable and prove Ziva's trust wrong. But, Ziva knew that Tony was not going to do anything like that.

Hell! Tony would hardly ever look at another girl in the eyes, forget flirt or stare like he used to. He was totally different from the man that she had met so many years ago. But, so was she. She was changed in so many ways and she loved this man with all her heart. She did sigh this time, happy that she had come to this life in this country to love this man. She could not have made a better decision right after they had rescued her from Somalia in becoming an American citizen. It was definitely the best decision of her whole life and she couldn't possibly ever regret it.

If it was not for that one decision they would not be sitting in this car together. She would not be pregnant with this child. She would not be engaged to Tony. And, honestly, she probably would not be alive to even think about what she was missing out on. She smiled and looked over at Tony.

"I love you," she said quietly.

He smiled, but looked confused. They hardly ever used those words randomly, but she was doing so now.

"I love you too," he said. "What's on your mind?"

"I am just glad that my choices have led me to this moment now," Ziva said quietly. "My choices were not always the best choices, but the more recent ones definitely were. They led me to you and all this. I'm happy, Tony. I am genuinely happy about everything."

He smiled and took her head. He kissed it lightly and gave it a squeeze. He was happy, too. He was even happier hearing her admit just how happy she was. Things had definitely changed with both of them. They were both far more open about everything than they ever had been before. And hearing emotions from Ziva's mouth was something that he would never get used to, after being trained for a long time to know that she didn't speak her emotions with words, only with her eyes. He smiled at her.

"I'm happy, too, Ziva," he said quietly and kissed her hand again. "More than happy."

They shared a smile as Tony parked the car and looked into her eyes. He then got out and went around to open up her door for her. He took her hand and led her into his apartment building and up toward the elevator. They needed to sleep, but perhaps it could wait. It was only noon and they had all the way until six before they had to be at Abby's for dinner.

Tony opened the door for her and she sank onto the couch immediately. She closed her eyes. He sat down next to her, laughing to himself at how exhausted she was. But, he wasn't going to laugh out loud, because he knew that she might get angry easily with those hormones running through her.

"You should nap on the bed. Your back will hurt," he suggested, taking her hand and pulling her to a stand to join him.

Her eyes opened and she pulled him back to her. He looked confused. She smiled at him and pulled him into a kiss. His arms wrapped around behind her back and she held him tightly around the back of his neck. As their lips parted and their tongues met, her hands became tangled in his short hair and his were roaming down her back and into her hair.

When they finally pulled apart, Ziva smiled at Tony mischievously. "I have other ideas as to what to do with our time off," Ziva whispered to him, her eyes meeting his and he smiled widely at her.

"I think I like how your mind works, Zi," he said back just as quietly.

She giggled a little and pulled him in for another kiss as he pushed her backward onto the couch and climbed on top of her, laying her lengthwise down the couch. They got totally lost in each other there and clothes were scattered from one end of the room to the other.

When they were both left in a sweaty, tangled mess of each other, panting for breath, they shared another kiss before cuddling up on the couch and turning on the television. They weren't sleeping at all and they had taken too long with each other to get any sleep. They watched a short film on television and then got up to get ready for their celebratory dinner at Abby's house that evening.

Ziva dressed in a red dress, which showed Tony that her body was definitely changing, something he already knew and hoped the others wouldn't yet recognize. Gibbs would see it, but he doubted the others would look close enough to see it as well.

Tony took her arm and led her downstairs toward the car and held her door for her. They drove in silence. They were nervous and excited about this. This was their family getting together and celebrating a happy moment for them. They both wished that they could tell everyone the full story and were glad that they had let Gibbs in on their secret, so that he knew to get sparkling cider as well as champagne for the others who were not pregnant right then.

Tony parked outside of Abby's house and noticed that they were the last to arrive. Oops, he thought. He glanced at the clock and realized that they were still early and everyone must be eager for a night out together with their coworkers, friends, and family.

"No matter what happens, Zi, we'll be okay," he promised her, feeling her nerves growing as he put the car into park.

"I know, Tony," she whispered. "I know."

He smiled at her and gave her hand a light squeeze. Tonight was about them and celebrating them. Tonight was about enjoying the moment. Tonight was about being happy together and showing off what they were to each other. Tony went around and opened her door for her, taking her hand and helping her out of the car.

He pulled her into his side and she laughed at the sudden change in direction. They were definitely not used to showing their coworkers this side of them, but they would get used to it. Tony wrapped his arm around Ziva's waist and led her to the front door of the house where Ziva held him back a little.

"One thing before we go inside," she muttered as he finally stopped.

He looked at her with question in his eyes and she pulled him close to her. She pressed her lips to his and he to hers. They shared a slow and long passionate kiss outside of Abby's house before breaking apart.

"I love you, Ziva David," he said quietly.

"I love you too, Anthony DiNozzo," she replied to him. "Let's go celebrate us."

"That sounds like a wonderful plan, future Mrs. DiNozzo," he said quietly, causing her to smile as he opened the door to Abby's house and led them inside.


	9. Engagement!

A/N – Here we are at Abby's house and celebrating Tony and Ziva! Exciting!

* * *

**Arlington, VA**

Tony held Ziva's hand as they walked into the house and everyone was smiling at them from the living room that was immediately to their left. Ziva moved a little closer to Tony as she realized exactly how they were around each other outside of work and knowing that their coworkers would see that tonight, because they weren't at work right now and they both knew it. They were here celebrating their engagement thanks to Abby.

Abby walked over to them, beaming. "I'm so glad you're here!" she nearly squealed. "I honestly wasn't sure you would come. You know, you two have been hiding this for over a year and we have a lot to celebrate. First, we need to celebrate Ziva healing and both of you opening up to each other and your relationship and the steps during your relationship that we all missed and Tony's commitment and your engagement! It's going to be so much fun! Gibbs brought the drinks! I just hope he brought some celebrating stuff! You know!"

"Abby," Ziva said warningly as Abby's face flushed with color and excitement.

"So, come in! Sit down! We're waiting on pizza because I know that both you and Tony love it! Your favorite, pepperoni," she said excitedly.

Gibbs and Tony both chuckled as Ziva's face turned scarlet and then returned to normal. She sat on the couch and leaned into Tony's side. His arm went naturally around her waist, holding her in place and protecting her from non-existent dangers. There was a soft "aw" from Abby and they both blushed. McGee was staring as though he couldn't believe his eyes.

Ziva noticed that Ducky was beaming, Gibbs looked content, Breena and Palmer were exchanging glances, and Gibbs was looking content. The only one in the room not looking somewhat pleased about this was Vance. He was watching these two curiously, as though waiting for them to start fighting or something. He knew that they were in a relationship secretly. They had gone up a couple of weeks ago, after announcing to the team that they were in a relationship to fill out the paperwork.

Vance had not been happy that there was an inter-office relationship on the same team that had been kept a secret for so long and that it had gotten to the point of engagement before they shared with anyone. He, however, was personally happy for the two, which was the reason he was there. He needed to remind himself that right now they were not coworkers, they were simply life-partners and they were going to act like it. He had to take away the mentality of the boss for a moment and just be happy for Tony and Ziva as they were.

"I'll get the drinks," Gibbs said, getting up and going to the kitchen. "Tony, care to join me in carrying them out to everyone?"

"Sure," he said as Abby spoke.

"No, Gibbs. They are the guests of honor. They don't help," Abby argued.

"It's alright, Abby," Tony said. "I want to help Gibbs."

"Seriously, Tony? You want to help someone? When they could do the work for you? Ziva really has changed you," Abby said. "I insist. Sit down."

They were locked in a staring contest. Ziva stood up and tugged on the sleeve of Tony's shirt, like a small child trying to catch their parent's attention when they were in the middle of a conversation. Tony looked at her.

"It is alright, Tony," she whispered quietly, her face looking vulnerable, though she was trying hard to hide it.

He sighed and sat down with her again. Gibbs and Abby left the room. There was no door between the kitchen and the sitting room where they were all sitting. They could hear the conversation between Abby and Gibbs.

"Sparkling cider Gibbs? What is this? Tell me you grabbed the wrong thing by accident! Please just tell me that was an accident! It's a Friday night, why in the world would you get sparkling cider? We're not working on a case and aren't on-call this weekend!" Abby nearly bellowed as she spotted it.

Ziva began to tremble a little in Tony's arms. How was Gibbs going to cover this up? What would he come up with? Tony's arm was tight around Ziva's waist, having the same thoughts.

"Tony asked me to get some for him and Ziva," Gibbs stated. "I simply assumed that they weren't drinking tonight. I have regular wine for anyone who wants some."

"That's ridiculous! Put that stuff away. You know, and everyone else should know, that everyone is welcome to stay here if they aren't okay to drive home!" Abby said angrily.

There was silence for a moment. Then, the two of them came out to the living room. Gibbs started with Tony and Ziva, he handed them each a glass of what appeared to be wine. Ziva looked in Gibbs' eyes and he shook his head "no" just slightly. That was her sign to not drink it. She set it on the table beside her and Tony copied her action.

Abby was beaming at everyone as she sat back down on the couch. Ziva shifted beside Tony, feeling slightly emotionally uncomfortable with the situation she was forced into now. She had a glass of alcoholic wine next to her and she was sitting with Tony who also had an alcoholic wine beside him on the table in front of him.

"You two drinking tonight?" Abby asked, already knowing what she heard Gibbs tell him a little while ago.

"No," Ziva said, shaking her head slightly and avoiding eye-contact with Abby.

"We've got plans all day tomorrow and we don't want to end up hung over or stuck here, Abby," Tony explained quickly, thankfully coming around for Ziva. She quietly thanked him with her eyes and he nodded that he got the message.

"You two are always welcome to stay and I can make sure you're up at a certain time?"

"It would have to be earlier and we do really enjoy sleeping in. besides, I think Tony and I would be happier at our place," Ziva explained, going a little pink in the cheeks.

"Then just a glass," Abby insisted.

Neither argued, but neither reached for their wine either. They just held onto each other. Luckily, the doorbell rang before Abby could become much more insistent upon them drinking at their engagement party. Abby went to answer the door and Gibbs quickly stood up and took Tony and Ziva's glasses for them, dumped them and poured them a glass of sparkling cider. That was what he had planned on doing for them and when he returned Abby was none-the-wiser to it, though she would be at some point and they all knew it.

They ate and drank happily and then Abby stood up. "I am going to get more wine and then we are going to get some details out of these two. Does anyone else want anything?"

Some shook their heads no, but McGee shook his head yes and then joined Abby in the kitchen, where they could all hear the conversation.

There was a growling sound coming out of Abby as soon as she had entered the kitchen. "Someone is drinking the sparkling cider," she commented. "That means someone, or rather two people are being extremely stubborn tonight and not following orders at my engagement party for them…. That means that they really aren't drinking… I think there's got to be some other reason behind it…. I mean, honestly, I've never seen Ziva turning down alcohol and Tony drinks at every opportunity that he can get!"

"Abby," McGee said.

"I mean, seriously, why aren't they drinking? Why are they being so stubborn about it? Why didn't anyone say anything to me about those two coming in here and dumping out their wine-glasses and pouring themselves sparkling cider? Why did Gibbs even go to this trouble for them? He's usually all for drinking! I mean, look at him, he does that every night in his basement while building something!"

"Abby," McGee repeated a little louder.

"But tonight, when they know they are having an engagement party they aren't drinking! Shouldn't this be a cause for celebration, for drinking, especially since they're together and drinking? I mean, it only makes sense. But, this, this doesn't make any sense! They're here and they are obviously happy with each other and yet they aren't drinking the wine that I gave them. Perhaps I should dump out the sparkling cider!"

"Abby," McGee nearly shouted, along with Gibbs who joined them in the kitchen. "Perhaps they just don't want to drink and you know how stubborn both of them are! If they don't want to drink and their minds are made up already they aren't going to drink! Seriously, just let it be, Abby!"

"Fine!" she huffed and pouted, pouring herself another glass.

She walked back into the room and looked at Tony and Ziva who were currently lost in each other's eyes and there noses were practically touching each other's noses. The expressions on their faces were ones of absolute adoration, trust, loyalty, and love. Abby nearly sighed and couldn't really be mad at them anymore.

"So, I need details," she said suddenly. "When did this start?"

"About a year ago," Ziva said.

"Over the last summer," Tony responded.

"Why now? Why not earlier and why not later? Just, why?" she asked.

"Why? Because we love each other. Not earlier because I was Mossad and it was against international laws for both of us. Why not later, because I did not want to wait any longer. Why now, because now was the perfect time and we love each other and were ready for this," Ziva said honestly, looking Abby straight in the eyes, her arm going around Tony without her even noticing.

"How exactly did you manage to hide this at work?" Abby asked, staring at the way they were wrapped around each other with an expression of incredulity.

"It was not easy," Ziva responded.

"Not at all," Tony added. "Now, given, there were plenty of slip-ups: days late to work; nearly saying something at work; getting lost in each other's eyes; not focusing on our jobs; being late to work a little more; needing comfort while at work and needing to wait until we were home; you know, the works?"

Abby nodded. "So, what's it like relying on each other for everything?"

"We are still independent people, Abby," Ziva corrected. "We are just very deeply in love with each other. We can rely on each other and we do when we need to, inside and outside of work. We also can trust each other inside and outside of work. That is why we work together in both settings."

Abby nodded again. "When did you fall in love with him, Ziva?" Abby asked.

Ziva thought about it. She had never really thought about it before. She had loved Tony for a long time, but she had to think hard. She blushed and then turned to look at Tony.

"Probably that night that he was ordered to follow me and I caught him doing so," Ziva said quietly. "We were standing outside of my hotel room talking about my sister, Tali, sharing coffee and pizza. It was then that I realized he wasn't the childish person that I had met in the squad room earlier that day and it was then that he crept so far into my mind that I no longer could keep him off of it or out of my life."

Tony smiled and placed a kiss on Ziva's nose, which got quite a reaction out of the people watching them.

"What about you, Tony?" Abby asked.

"Definitely the comment about phone sex," he said quietly and stared deep into Ziva's eyes. "I was sitting in the office and picturing Kate dressed in a school-girl outfit, as my perverted younger mind did often with her, even though she was like a sister to me; she still did have a pretty nice body from everything I had ever seen, which thankfully wasn't much. Most I ever saw of her was on an autopsy table and that wasn't even everything, because I kept her covered the entire time I was in there.

"I was talking to my little self-made vision of Kate when Ziva came in and she thought I was having phone-sex, because I tried to cover my tracks by hitting the end button on the phone," Tony said.

Ziva giggled. "If you had not stuttered over the button on the phone then perhaps I would have believed it. But, probably not, Tony," Ziva said quietly.

"When did you two realize you were in love with each other?" Abby asked curiously, feeling a little foolish for asking the last question at all.

"That summer," Tony whispered.

"Yes, that one. I have to agree," Ziva affirmed.

"Which summer?" Abby asked confused.

"Somalia," they both said at the same time, without taking their eyes off of each other.

This was the first time that either of them uttered those words and Ziva didn't at least cringe. She was too deeply in Tony's arms to be afraid of anything that could possibly haunt her. Tony was too deeply in grained into her life that she couldn't suffer anymore from what had once happened to her in some desert somewhere in the world. It didn't even matter which desert, when, or what part of the world.

"What about the summer that Gibbs was in Mexico? What was going on with you two them?" Abby asked.

Ziva blushed a little. They had agreed not to bring that up ever. That was an agreement with the two of them that had been spoken out loud.

"We were more or less dating," Tony said quietly. "We never did anything, if that's what you're curious about, because we knew that Gibbs was coming back at some point and we knew that we had to work closely with each other. We were also afraid of what the consequences were of us dating. It was more of an experiment than anything else. When Mossad was in town, Ziva was taken and questioned about it and then we had to call things off, because Mossad was threatening… what were they threatening exactly, Ziva? You never told me that much?"

"Your life and my freedom," Ziva said. "I did not care about my freedom so much as I cared about your life. I could not lose you. You were too important to me. I did not really understand that feeling then, as I did not understand many feelings then."

Tony nodded.

"What really happened in Paris?" McGee asked.

Now they both looked at the others who were staring incredibly at the couple on the couch. They chuckled and chuckled for a while then turned to face each other.

"It is not important," Ziva said.

"Oh, I think it is," Abby argued. "Without Paris you two probably wouldn't be sitting here like this now."

Ziva's face grew red. "I learned that I could trust Tony. That is all," Ziva said quietly.

Abby wasn't satisfied with the answer but the others were and were even touched by the answer.

"It was a necessary change," Tony said quietly. "We weren't anything like what we used to be and weren't doing our best work. I wish you hadn't waited so long for any kind of help. I could have helped you."

"I know," Ziva said with a node and pressed a kiss to his lips to which he pulled her into him and they nearly got lost there as someone cleared their throat.

They pulled apart and smiled. Ziva shrugged and they looked at their audience nervously.

"When are you getting married?"

Tony shrugged this time and looked at Ziva. "Not yet," she said. "We have not decided on a date, but we do not want to wait too long. Perhaps the beginning of next summer sometime… what do you think Tony?"

"I think that sounds like a perfect time," he said quietly, knowing that somewhere in Gibbs house there was a dress that was already fitted to Ziva. They had planned on making it in the winter, but the dress would not fit Ziva in the winter and they both knew that, so they had to wait until the baby was born. "We'll work on a date and get back to you."


	10. Tears

**Washington, DC**

Tears. That's what was happening over the course of the next two months. A lot of tears. The first time it happened, they all thought it was a fluke; some strange coincidence that just never happened and wouldn't ever happen again. That is, everyone thought it was a coincidence, except for Tony and Gibbs, who knew for a fact that it was not a coincidence and didn't believe in coincidences. Gibbs didn't even bother to correct the others when they talked about it after the fact, when they said it was a coincidence.

**_"Do I ever have a story, although it's not my story really, it's my father's story," Ducky said as he began examining the body at a crime scene (it was a potential suicide victim, but they weren't ruling out homicide just yet)._**

**_"What's the story, Ducky?" Tony asked, knowing that they were going to hear it anyway._**

**_"It is a story that my father always told me about his mother. Very sad, you know. This was before they really knew about cancer, but my thought is that is what she had. They could see that she had some kind of tumor on her ovaries that just kept getting bigger and bigger, invading the spaces of her other organs. They didn't try to remove it, because she declined the surgery. But, my poor grandmother, was diagnosed as terminal," Ducky began his story and got completely lost on telling it. "She was young; only fifty, when she was diagnosed and her poor doctor had never seen anything like this before._**

**_"She became very depressed and immersed herself in alcohol for a while, but that didn't help her feel better or happier. So, she went and did some strange and risky things, that scared both my grandfather and my father half to death. She realized that, not only was she scaring her family with her actions, they were afraid of her suffering, which she definitely was. She then decided that jumping from a five story building was quite the lovely idea._**

**_"She went for a walk one day, with my father, who was merely fifteen at the time and trying his hardest to see his mother happy again. She climbed up a monument with him and just jumped without so much as a goodbye or a last longing look. My poor father was so broken as he watched her helpless body fall to the ground and break upon the cobble-stones below. She took her life, and in turn devastated the people who loved her more."_**

**_Ducky finally looked. There were not only tears in Ziva's eyes, but she was sobbing with the story and the mental images that he had placed in her head. Every sobbing breath she took wracked her small frame with such force that it looked like she was going to knock herself over and the tears were pouring down her face so quickly that she didn't know what to do with them._**

**_"Are you alright, dear?" Ducky asked, suddenly looking worried._**

**_"That's… that's the saddest… a very sad… sad story," she managed to get out, through her sobs._**

**_Tony's eyes were wide with panic as he looked at his ninja crumbling to pieces in front of everyone. He stepped over to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, leading her away from the puzzled looks of the others. She would thank him for it later, even though he wasn't entirely sure what his hormonal ninja might do to him now._**

**_She did nothing. She just allowed him to lead her away, knowing that a part of him was simply protecting her from the questions that were going to come sooner or later. He preferred that they didn't come while she was in this state. She continued to cry. As Tony led her back toward the van, he caught Gibbs eyes and Gibbs nodded quietly to him, going back over to the crime scene and effectively stopping both McGee and Ducky from coming over to see what was bothering Ziva so much._**

No one had dared to ask a question later that day, because Ziva had gotten horribly angry at the suspect. She had gotten so angry in fact that even her ninja skills shut down and she broke down and nearly cried again. They were all confused. They were also terrified of how she was going to react, since today seemed to be a bad day. They attributed it to something from her past that must have happened on this day.

**_"It was nothing more than a coincidence, McGee," Abby argued as Tony walked into the lab. "Something snapped in her and she cried. It's not a big deal. I'm sure it won't happen again anytime soon."_**

**_Tony walked back out, not wanting to get into the middle of this conversation. He had been avoiding that conversation all day, just as she had been avoiding that conversation all day and Gibbs had been avoiding that conversation all day. That was why they kept speculating though. They really just wanted a solid reason why Ziva had broken down and lost it. He heard McGee's argument as he waited for the elevator to come back down._**

**_"Something had to cause her to break like that," McGee argued. "Maybe something in her past has someone committing suicide because of terminal illness. You know, we don't know much about her family or her past."_**

**_The elevator dinged open and Gibbs was standing there and seeing Tony's face he invited him into the elevator._**

**_"You don't want to go in there right now, they're speculating again," Tony said quietly to his boss as he stepped in._**

**_"I'm sure the evidence can wait. Abby will call if she gets impatient enough," Gibbs said with a shrug._**

Well, after the second round of tears they were all wondering what the hell was going on with Ziva. This had been different. It wasn't because of a story or even a case in particular. He knew they were all watching, because they had seen the look of frustration and the sound that went with it.

**_"It froze," she sighed, sounding just as frustrated as ever._**

**_Tony expected her to hit it, as she usually did. What he didn't expect was what he was seeing now. Ziva's eyes filled with tears as she tried desperately to fix the problem without violence. Then, they spilled right over the edge as she continued to struggle to fix the computer, feeling the need to remain independent at work, which was something they had already talked about, with one of her breakdowns at home. She put her head down and cried into her arms._**

**_"Ziva?" McGee asked._**

**_Tony glanced over at the Junior Field Agent, afraid of what he was going to see. McGee looked afraid. Ziva never acted like this and Tony knew it. Ziva wasn't emotional ever and this was the second time in the same week that she was crying over something. He looked like he was concerned. Tony was worried about what his coworkers were going to take away from all of this, since they weren't sharing with anyone until they were sure they were all set and free from their own fears. Tony also knew that their fears were another reason for her emotions being so wild lately._**

**_"Ziva, do you want help with that?" McGee asked again, his voice sounding fearful._**

**_"Does it look like I am doing it just fine, McGee?" Ziva snapped dangerously, indicating her computer. "Of course I want help. I do not know what happened. It just stopped!"_**

**_"It froze," McGee said quietly as he stood up, looking terrified as Ziva went into a rage at him._**

**_"Zi," Tony said and nodded his head toward the break-room on the other side of the office._**

**_She shot him a quick glare before her face turned guilty. She hadn't meant to glare at him and he only nodded accepting her apology before she could feel too sorry for it. They walked into the break-room without a backward glance at the other two left in their area of the squad room._**

**_Tony pulled Ziva into his arms. "Shh," he said quietly. "It's alright. It's just a computer problem. It'll be alright."_**

**_"I know, Tony," she said. "I do not know what has gotten into me lately."_**

**_Tony pushed her back a little and smirked, but tried not to allow it to form a whole smile until he spoke, because he didn't want her to take it the wrong way with her emotions out of check._**

**_"I think I got into you," he said quietly._**

**_She chuckled at him and leaned up against him, wrapping her arms around him, too. "Yes, I would say that you have, many times, Tony," Ziva agreed quietly, still chuckling._**

**_She loved that he could always make her laugh, no matter what or how many hormones were running through her system. And, the alternative was not so happy and caused far more tears than these hormones did. So, she was okay with it and just had to keep reminding herself that everything was going to be okay and these small breakdowns were her reminder that everything was okay._**

**_With that thought, they returned to the squad room and McGee was just returning to his desk._**

**_"Thank you," Ziva said, offering him a shy smile. "I am sorry I snapped at you, McGee. I did not mean it."_**

**_Ziva apologizing was another new thing that none of them had quite gotten used to, especially McGee._**

**_"Um… sure… it's okay, Ziva," he said awkwardly as he continued his work, without meeting her eyes._**

From then on, Ziva was more careful about how she handled an oncoming breakdown. She would get up and make her way toward the break-room or the conference room or the bathroom in order to escape the questions. Because, after the second time in the same week, there were a lot of questions for her and Tony and a lot of speculation going on that she knew about and she assumed there was more going on behind her back.

She didn't lose it in front of the team again, until they were all commiserating in the squad room after failing to save someone, but catching the person who had killed the girl.

**_Everyone stood in silence as Gibbs talked on the phone. They all knew it was the hospital that the victim had been sent to. His face turned dark and they all knew what was happening. Tony was already holding Ziva, knowing that she had to face this news along with the rest of them._**

**_He could feel her trembling in his arms, holding on to herself for dear life, afraid of letting those emotions go again in front of the team. Gibbs finally said goodbye and hung up the phone._**

**_He turned to those who were facing them. They had all been involved in her rescue in someway or another so they all wanted to know the outcome of her trip to the hospital, although they could all tell by the look on his face what he was going to say. He could also see them fighting that realization, so he had to say it and confirm their fears, just as he would have to confirm the fears of the mother of the victim, as well as her fiancée._**

**_"She didn't make it," he whispered._**

**_That was all it took. A sob ran through Ziva's body and it made quite some noise as she turned her face into Tony's chest. Tony wrapped his arms tightly around her. They were getting a handle on dealing with her emotions and her not snapping at him when he tried to comfort her. It was definitely a learning process, and it was good they had gone through this learning process and already trusted each other so much, because Ziva just really wanted to punch someone and Tony was the closest thing to her._**

**_Instead, she just clung to him and grabbed at his shirt, hoping for some comfort to come to her. She didn't want to feel this emotional over a victim or a case. She didn't want to feel this vulnerable in front of the team when they weren't sharing the news. Yet, she did. And they were all seeing that Ziva definitely had emotions and they were stronger than anyone thought possible._**

**_Tony held onto her and held her as tightly to him as he dared without crushing her or cutting off her air supply._**

**_"Boss?" Tony said, as Gibbs looked at him curiously._**

**_"Take her home, DiNozzo," Gibbs said quietly. "Take her home."_**

**_Tony only nodded and grabbed his bag, which was already on his desk and he also grabbed Ziva's bag and led them to the door, noticing that Ziva was hiding from the rest of the team and using him as her shield so they wouldn't see what they all knew was happening at that very second. She was crying again. But, they would all know soon enough. They would all know what was going on with Ziva, because today was the mark of the end of the first trimester and they were going to tell them over dinner over the weekend._**

Today was the day of the dinner. The dinner was cooked, the guests were sitting at the table, and Tony and Ziva were in the kitchen as Ziva nearly had a panic attack at what was facing her in the other room. She couldn't think straight. She could only know that she was about to tell the others that she was pregnant with Tony's child before they ever got married. She was about to tell them this and she was worried about how they would react.

Tony was quietly comforting her. Finally, she found her confidence again and brought the food out to the table. Their guest list included Palmer and his fiancée, Breena, Ducky, McGee, Abby, Vance, and Gibbs. Tony had never had people over to his apartment before, but he had changed since he had made up his mind about never doing a "family" dinner at his place. He was with Ziva now and it was her place too. If he could open his sanctuary up to her, then he could open it up to the other people he trusted so much, too.

They all ate in silence, many of them watching Ziva, since she seemed very on edge and they were wondering what kind of emotional break she was going to have this time.

Ziva, however, was feeling very calm. It was the first time, as she at dinner, that she had felt the baby kick and suddenly it seemed that everything was going to be okay. That small nudge in her abdomen had reassured her instantly. She was even smiling and Tony could see the changes in her. When he locked eyes with her, he was wondering what made her smile. She looked down and put her hand gently on her stomach, which if you looked hard enough was just starting to bulge out a little beyond her hips.

He smiled too. He knew what she meant. She had felt the baby kick for the first time. But, he knew that it would be a few weeks before he could feel the baby kicking too. But, just the thought that she had felt it and she was okay, was more than enough to place a smile on his face too.

Slowly the rest of them caught onto the change in their hosts moods from nervous to excited and they began to chatter away happily. Finally, dinner was finished and Tony stood up, taking Ziva into his arms. He looked around at his make-shift family and smiled widely, before allowing his eyes to land on Ziva's.

"We have an announcement to make," Tony said, looking only at Ziva for another moment. She was going to tell them.

Everyone was still and silent as they watched the two have a silent, pleasant conversation, much the way they did at the office, but entirely more exposed now that they were away from a workplace. Ziva then pulled her eyes away from Tony's to find her guests staring at her and her face flushed with color.

"We're having a baby," she announced, smiling widely around at her guests and her family.

There was a moment of stunned silence and then everyone smiled and even cheered a little. There was a soft ringing out of congratulations from everyone. Gibbs was smiling at the reactions they were getting, realizing that was what they were hoping for. Even Vance, who knew how much this complicated their situation from the boss-angle of this, was smiling and applauding with the others. He knew that Ziva had been through far too much to not deserve this kind of happiness, no matter what trouble it caused him as far as paperwork and other work. Getting around having a baby was not easy when you were on the same team as the father of that child. He smiled all the same, feeling genuinely happy for them.

Abby stood up and held up her glass, which was water and not champagne or wine, something she had complained about in the beginning, but was now understanding why they had chosen this.

"To baby DiNozzo!" she said with a broad smile on her face.

"To baby DiNozzo!" the others repeated, rising to their feet and clinking glasses.

"Congratulations," Abby said nearly squealing in delight as she looked at the engaged couple in front of her and knowing that it must have been a struggle to keep this a secret for as long as they did and knowing that they had a very good reason for it, even if they weren't sharing that reason at the moment.

Abby, along with the rest of the team (thanks to Ziva's tighter shirt, unlike what she had been wearing around the office the last couple of weeks) could now identify the tiny bump that was to one day become their new child and that made them all smile a little wider.


End file.
